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“Aloha kakahiaka,” a man’s voice says.
I gasp.
For the second time in my life, I’m briefly under the impression that a turtle is talking.
He’s not, of course.
I turn in time to see the kind resort employee, Akoni, heading my way. He’s wearing a smile that bunches his cheeks. To my surprise, he opens his arms to me.
I accept the hug and squeeze him tightly. It surprises me how good it is to see him.
“My friend!” he says when we pull apart. “You are back so soon! We have been missing you—me and the turtles. This one, especially.”
Chester is now waddling across a gray rock, heading my way. He’s still on his side of the railing, but when I reach down, I can place a carrot on the rock mere inches from his nose.
Akoni chuckles. “And you came prepared! Lots of thought, to get carrots at the market.”
“Oh, I’m not that organized. I ordered these at the restaurant yesterday morning. They looked at me like I was out of my mind, ordering a plate of raw carrots and a plastic bag instead of breakfast.”
His laugh is mellow and soothing. “Ah, now, I think that is smart. You’re here for the ceremony, yeah? I knew he stirred your heart.”
He gestures to the turtle. “He’s been my friend for five years. Powerful soul, he has. The biologists will put a tracker on him so we will know where our friend travels. The songs today will send him on his way.”
I nod. “I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
That’s why I dropped twelve hundred dollars on a plane ticket and another grand on three nights at the resort…
That, and something more.
I wanted to be here to see if I could feel it again—that love I felt when I was here, that sense that anything was possible, and that joy and freedom awaited me at the start of each new day.
And… this morning, I felt that. When I watched the sun coming up over the ocean, my heart felt so full.
Bursting, even.
With hope and life.
It’s time to say goodbye to the deep ruts that sheltered me with their tall walls. I know I might get hurt. I know it’s a risk. But I’m willing to take the risk.
And I’ve decided that I’m going to start by calling Jack.
Today.
Talking to him on the phone is far from ideal.
I’ve never been good on the phone. I mostly stick to texts and messages when it comes to communicating. But I can’t text him how I feel. I can’t send a Slack message or an email, and I’m definitely not going to reach out on social media.
I haven’t been on social media in days.
Right now, I don’t care what my life looks like from the outside. I don’t care what other people think of me or what’s expected of me. I want it to feel good from in here. From the inside.
And that means that I have to tell Jack how I feel.
I have to tell him that I miss him like crazy and think about him every day.
I have to apologize for letting the stupid company handbook get in the way of the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.
I don’t care about work anymore. Not like I used to. It’s nice to have the salary that I do, but I’d throw it away in a second if it meant another chance at being with Jack.
