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"I don't give a fuck about Olivia."
Her eyes bulge, and fuck can I not unsee the satisfaction in them, and the way her lips twitch at the corners... Sweet Juliana, she wants me all for herself, a possessive liking we share in common—something I'll never be able to shake, unlike her beloved nickname.
You're going to have to. For her sake.
"So... This is about the necklace..."
Shame thunders through me, powerful and inescapable. I snap my attention away from those captivating emerald eyes, but find no solace. Five years, and I'm still haunted. There's a reason I never bring it up, never think about what happened. Now is no exception.
She drops to a whisper. "Look... I thought about it and—"
I whip back toward her. "No."
Goddamnit, no. She will not forgive me for that. My breaths come out choppy as I pace before her, not caring if I draw attention. I thread a shaky hand through my hair, tempted to yank the locks from my scalp.
"That's not it," I say, and it's no lie.
She tracks my movements, gnarled in confusion, before she snatches my shoulder. "Then what is?!"
I look down at her, straight on. Christ, she's so beautiful. So perfect, I don't even know how to act around her. Unconsciously, my body gravitates toward hers, until I'm basking in her aura at an inappropriate distance, wishing more than anything that I had the guts to humiliate myself, to scream from the rooftop of Churchill Downs that...
I'M A FUCKING LIAR!
A worthless. Good for nothing. Liar.
And Juliana deserves better.
Sure, she had a little crush on me in high school and maybe it's rekindled this past month, but unlike me, she's changed, grown, worked on herself over the years, has accomplishments that should reflect in her partner. A man who wouldn't lie about working under his father, thereby reaping benefits he never earned, essentially dangling the promises of a respectable match under her nose, someone who can talk business, has a promising future, can impress her friends and family.
Someone like my brother.
He really is my carbon copy, physically, except he comes with all those shiny accolades. Maybe the two of them should give it a try. I saw the way he looked at Juliana in the office, the intrigue that simmered in his eyes. Even better, he's in an open relationship, an engagement that's strictly business, so he's free to entertain Juliana all he wants. Invite her to his office at any hour. He's there all night, working hard, anyway, so no one would question it. Well, not until they heard the dubious sounds oozing from those thin walls, while he's got her bent over his—
I jerk away violently, surprising her.
"Hayden?"
"I-I'm... I'm gonna..."
I book it across the balcony, aiming for the French doors into the lounge. She calls after me, but my strides are too long for her high heels. I'm blinded, consumed by a fury of my own making, with one destination in mind.
The men's restroom.
Maybe not the most glamorous choice, but it has surprisingly low foot traffic, and it's the only place I could guarantee Juliana wouldn't go looking for me. And she hasn't, for the ten minutes that I've sat here, fully clothed, sitting on a closed toilet lid. Enclosed by the four walls of my stall, I'm alone with my thoughts.
I got the reins on my anger, finally, but...
Juliana must think I've lost my mind. I more-or-less confessed my feelings for her, told her to stay clear of me without providing a solid explanation, then ran off. I completely ditched her, my date, in a place where she knows next to no one and—
I hear the bathroom door swing open, along with a familiar voice.
"...if he doesn't like my offer, he can go pound fucking sand. Tell him that, verbatim."
Through the crack in my door, I catch Elias's suit-clad frame march by the stalls, pressing a phone to his ear.
"Yeah, yeah, that's another problem. Just have the files on my desk as soon as possible..."
He retraces his steps, pacing, zooming by again.
