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Matthias rolled his eyes. “Ignore him. You know he can’t control his mouth.”
“What? Tom said I could ask him about it and then I had to look it up for myself.” He shrugged.
I nodded. “I did the same. I would have...I would have been there for him if I had known, but no one told me. Not Jax or his parents. Not even my mother, who kept in touch with Fran and Adele after she moved to Florida.” Hot tears burned my eyes again.
“Did you think maybe he didn’t want you to do that? Maybe he didn’t want you to know because he wanted you to keep doing what you were doing?” Matthias asked.
I put my empty cup down. “I would have jumped on the first plane. I don’t care where we were or what we were doing. The band would have come second.” I didn’t have to look over to know they were making goo-goo eyes or worse at one another right now. But when no one spoke, I finally stood up. Their love was stifling me.
“Blake,” Killian said sternly. “Thank you.”
My brows dipped. “For?”
“That night I almost died.” He kept his eyes cast down. “For helping Dean get me to a hospital before I bled out on the floor of the bus.”
Matthias squeezed his arm. “If someone had told me, I would have been there, too. No matter the consequences. First flight, red eye, driven all night, it wouldn’t have mattered. So yeah, thank you.” Then he shifted his body so he could bury his face into Killian’s neck.
“Yeah, of course. You’re welcome,” I told them. “You’re my friend.”
Killian still didn’t look at me. I knew that night was something he didn’t like to talk about.
“I wasn’t a good friend back then, but I’m trying to be one now,” he said quietly.
A sob escaped Matthias’s throat. They had overcome a lot over the years, but I think Killian trying to kill himself was something Matthias didn’t like to think about. It was something I kept locked away. Seeing my lead singer near death... I knew what he was going through now, but back then, he didn’t talk to anyone about his issues.
“Take care of your man,” I said, then I left them alone.
Chapter Three
Tommy
Knowing Blake was back in Canfield was hard enough, but seeing him this morning when I left for therapy? It felt like a punch to the dick. He and Killian were just sitting there, watching me. Should I have said hello? Probably, but that wasn’t who I was anymore. I just wanted to get this session over with so I could go home and continue to feel sorry for myself. Story of my life.
“Your brother is getting married soon.” My therapist, Jamie, sat behind his desk, his laptop cracked open in front of him.
I pulled at a loose thread on the hem of my shirt. “Saturday.”
“Are you excited about it?” Jamie asked.
When I didn’t answer right away, he started typing. Probably to mention how unresponsive I was. Not that this was anything new. During our first few sessions, I’d answered in grunts. That had been super fun.
I stared out the window. “No,” I told him truthfully. “I’m Jax’s best man, and that means I have to stand up in front of people. They’ll see my face, and sure, they know about my scar, but I hate it. I don’t want people staring at me. If it weren’t Jax and Maverick, I wouldn’t do it.”
“Do you like his fiancé?”
“He’s pretty cool. I mean, he’s different from how he used to be, but yes. I like him.”
Jamie typed something else into the computer. “Different, how?”
“He’s quiet. Shy. He wasn’t like that when I was a kid. He was this big shot drummer, super friendly, and so awesome in my eyes. I mean, he’s still awesome, but Jax said his parents fucked him up big time. They’re religious assholes.”
I liked Jamie. He never sassed me for swearing or some of the other language I used. It’s why I continued to come see him. He wasn’t much older than I was, so that helped, too. If he were some boomer? This wouldn’t work.
“His brother, Dean, is closer to my age, and he’s not like that. I think Maverick might have taken the brunt of what his parents dished out.”
Jamie steepled his hands. “That means that the band is here, then?”
Aw, hell.
