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I nodded. “Yeah, sex dreams. Like every single night. I thought at first it was just the medication they were giving me at the hospital, but they haven’t stopped since I got home.” I gripped the back of my neck. “Is that weird?”
“No,” he murmured.
My brows shot up. “No? How is that... He’s my stepbrother.”
“And you both like guys. You’re close. You room together, you spend a lot of time together. You’ve probably seen one another naked once or twice. It’s probably some kink you got going on. I say you go with it.”
“I’m sorry, what? Go with it? Like I should”—I lowered my voice—“fuck him?” The thought had my cock thickening in my jeans.
Mason smirked. “I didn’t say that, but if you want to, I’m not going to stop you.” He wiggled his brows at me.
“What is wrong with you?” I balked.
“What’s wrong with who?” Shepard swung the chair next to me around and dropped his large body down, so he was facing us.
I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes at Mason in warning. I didn’t care what anyone said. I wasn’t friends with Rand Shepard yet. My brain was going to need a lot more convincing.
“Uh, me.” Mason coughed. “I’m trying to convince London to adopt another kid.”
Shepard cocked a brow. “We both know that’s a lie because you can’t handle the two you already have.” He chuckled before he folded his arms over the front of the chair. “Watts, man, how does it feel to not be driving?”
“You really know how to stab a man in the dick when he’s down, don’t you?” I asked.
Shepard grinned. “It’s my specialty.”
Luckily, the meeting started, which took the attention away from me, but it didn’t stop me from thinking about what Mason had said. Go with it? Would Holt try to hit me if I tried to kiss him? Was he even into me like that? I guess there was only one way for me to find out.
***
Shepard won the race and then promptly decided that he needed to throw a party that following night. Which is why I found myself, despite knowing it wasn’t a good idea, drinking again and getting my head all screwed up even more than it already was. Because I kept having those same dreams about Holt. More dreams about us together, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it, even though Mason thought it was a good idea to kiss Holt.
I tried to psych myself up. I dressed up, or at least I thought I looked nice. I put on a pair of dark dress pants, one of my polo shirts that showed off all the hard work I put in at the gym, and even got a haircut the day of the party. I even did a little manscaping, in case you know, Holt liked that sort of thing. God, what was wrong with me? Was he even going to see my dick tonight?
I did all of this only for Holt to not show up.
I was on my third or maybe fourth shot of vodka when someone took the bottle from me.
“That’s mine!” I exclaimed, only to come face to face with my stepbrother. “You’re here.” I stared at him with wide eyes and hope blooming inside of me.
“I almost didn’t come.” He put the bottle down on the table.
I smiled, despite how shitty I felt. “I’m glad you did.” I took in the way his hair moved in the breeze and how the lights hit his hazel eyes, making them look a pretty green. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“Can you even walk?” Holt teased, and it made my stomach feel funny. Not in the throw up way, but more in the I’m having inappropriate thoughts about my stepbrother way.
“Come on.” He put his arm around my back to steady me as we moved across the crowded lawn.
I caught Mason giving me a thumbs up, hoping Holt didn’t see, and the way Shepard gave a little smile of his own as we made our way to the front of the house, but when I went to move up to the large wraparound porch that was strangely empty of party goers, Holt stopped me.
“Nah, this way.” He jutted his chin toward the lawn, then crouched down and spread out on his back. I did the same, and we stared up at the bright sky in silence for a while.
“Holt?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you really get an apartment without me?” I asked, before turning my head to look at him. “Are you sure we didn’t have a fight?” My pinky brushed over his in the dark. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and goosebumps broke out over my skin. “Did I upset you somehow? You can tell me. I won’t get mad. I just want to fix it.”
Holt kept his face away from mine. “No, never.” But he sounded so sad.
