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“What’s going on with you, bro? You seem different. What happened before my crash? Did you meet someone?” I was suddenly green with jealousy when I thought of Holt having a boyfriend. “You know I don’t care if you bring someone back to the RV, right?” I did, but I shouldn’t.
He shook his head. “Duh, but aren’t we a little old to live at home?”
What in the actual fuck? Where was that coming from? “Can I move in with you?”
“No.” Again, Holt rubbed his sternum.
I narrowed my eyes. “Can I at least come visit you?” I watched the way he avoided looking at me. He was looking anywhere but me. Above me, next to me, but not directly at me. “Holt.” I stood up and watched the way he stiffened. “What’s going on with you?” He took a step back when I got closer.
“N... nothing.”
“Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.” His hazel eyes finally landed on me, and the way they softened, Christ, it made me want to kiss—no, that was a dream. “I should go. Let you get some rest. You must be exhausted from the flight home.” His hand came up to rub his chest, but he stopped just before he did it.
My stepbrother was a good-looking man. I knew that. I liked men, so would it be a bad thing if I kissed him? Would Holt want me to do that? Was he attracted to me? Would it freak him out if I cupped his face in my hands and lightly brushed my lips over his? Would he want more? Would he want to suck my cock? Because I certainly wanted his mouth on mine right now.
Christ, I needed to get laid. These drugs were totally messing with my head, and it was already a scrambled disaster.
“Watson?” Holt was watching me with nervous, wide eyes. “Are you all right?”
I nodded. “Sure, never better.” I moved to go sit back on the bed. “I’m just... surprised, that’s all.” Disappointed, sad, confused, all those things. It felt like our friendship was broken and it was my fault, but Holt didn’t want to fix it. Clearly, I had hurt him. Why couldn’t I remember that?
“I’m sorry,” Holt mumbled as I looked back at him. “I didn’t mean to upset you. It just kind of happened.”
I dragged a hand through my hair. “Hey, I get it. We all have to grow up at some point, but...” I stopped when I thought of something. “You don’t drive, so how do you get around?” I pursed my lips.
“Uber,” he answered, like it wasn’t a big deal.
“You take an Uber everywhere? Maybe it’s time you get your license, H. You’re twenty-two, after all. I’d offer to help you, but I can’t drive right now. Maybe when I’m cleared.”
Holt shrugged. “Maybe.”
“It’s going to be weird without you here.”
“You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
I blinked in surprise. “Why—Holt, that’s not even funny.”
He looked so sad and lost; I wanted to shake him. Make him tell me what was running through his head.
“I should go.” He turned to leave. “Come over whenever you want,” he said, but it didn’t sound like he meant it.
