AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I wonder if she misses me.
I wonder if she’s thinking about me.
I wonder if she’s rescuing her pitiful ex right this moment.
And I wonder if I’ll ever see her again.
Chapter Nine
Zoe
I stare at the screen on my phone, urging my fingers to do my bidding.
But as his number fills the phone screen, I hit the backspace and delete it. I can't call him. I shouldn't call him. I mean, sure, he wanted me to call, and I want to, but to what end? I'm smart enough to know that a relationship started on vacation when we are completely different people isn't destined to last. Vacation day drinking Zoe is gone, replaced by boring, work and movie streaming Zoe. What could he possibly see in me?
Plus, I'm damaged and what decent, self-respecting person would want to be tied up with someone with so much emotional baggage?
But even as those conflicting thoughts collide in my head, I can't stop thinking about the way he'd kissed me and said goodbye that last day on the cruise. I can't forget his promise or the way he'd asked me to call him. I'm being stupid by not calling him, right?
All the self-doubt rising up in me makes my fingers hesitate as I punch in his number again.
Instead of hitting the call button, I add him to my contacts. I normally buy myself time. I haven't called him. I need to make a decision because letting him hang like this isn't fair or nice. No matter what, I need to call him, call him and tell him I'm not interested, or call and tell him I am, but I can't just pretend he doesn't exist and that nothing happened.
But what if he's busy and I'm interrupting him? Panic bubbles up within me. What if he's forgotten about me? My fingers tremble as I hover over his contact information. What if he's on a date with a beautiful blonde bombshell right now and I'm going to be interrupting a perfect date with the woman he loves?
I exhale a deep breath, trying to remind myself that I'm being silly. It’s been three days. I highly doubt he's already met and fallen in love with someone else... unless there was someone else before we met and I was the other one.
I let out a groan and set my phone down on the couch beside me, pulling my legs to my chest and resting my forehead on my knees. Why do I do this to myself?
“I can do this.” With that, I drop my feet back down to the floor, pick up my phone, and call his number. Setting it to speaker phone, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm my pounding heart.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about him; his bright blue eyes, his charming smile, his deep voice. The way he'd held me and made me feel appreciated and important. I can't stop thinking about the perfect date he'd taken me on, or the way he'd whispered my name in my ear, or the way his lips felt against mine. I've even been dreaming about him. It's so intense and so overwhelming it makes me feel crazy. The first ring seems to last forever, and there's no answer. I resist the temptation to hit the red button to end the call. How much is it going to hurt if he doesn't answer, but what happens if he does?
Halfway through the second ring, he answers. “Hello?”
His voice sounds so... different. Cold, controlled, with no hint of the warmth or humor that I remember. Icy cold pinpricks race along my skin and I exhale. This person sounds like a complete stranger, not the person that I met on the cruise, but I remind myself, that, much like boring Zoe is back, the real Damien might be too. Maybe vacation Damien is the warm, kind, humor-infused soul while non-vacation Damien is cutthroat and cold. Which would make sense given his father was murdered there - how relaxed, warm, and happy could he really be?
“Hello?” he says again, sounding distant and distracted.
“Hi, Damien?” The words sound like a question because I'm not one hundred percent certain that I'm talking to the right person.
He pauses on the other end of the line. Then he says, “Zoe?” He also sounds unsure that he is actually talking to me, which lends some weight and validity to the fact that we both sound like different people now that we're not on vacation.
It's also the validation I need that he remembers me.
“Yes! It’s me,” I say, feeling a flicker of hope for us and what could be. Maybe calling was the right decision, and I can stop beating myself up now.
“I was starting to think you wouldn't call.” I can hear the absolute lack of faith in his voice, and it hurts my feelings a little bit.
“Well, here I am calling.” I can hear the nervousness in my voice as I say the words, and I suddenly realize exactly what I need to say to lighten the moment. “I do need to ask you a favor, though.”
“What kind of favor?” He sounds intrigued and I can't stop smiling as I run my hand up and down my thigh and hold the phone closer to my face, wishing I could see him.
“I need to hire a hitman.” I can only hope he'll catch on and remember the joke that we'd made that first day we talked. Otherwise, I'm going to look like a crazy lady and this conversation might be over. I'm not sure why that joke sticks out in my head so much. Maybe because it was just such a crazy thing to say, or just because of how funny it was to think about him and his very nice, very expensive suit killing people for a living. Whatever the reason, it’s stuck out in my brain, and it's now probably one of my favorite jokes that anyone's ever told me at the beginning of a relationship.
He chuckles and his whole voice changes, like the warm sun breaking through clouds and heating up a chilly winter day. “Who do you need dead?” he asks, in a low, husky voice as he plays along.
My heart does a happy little dance in my chest at his words and his return to the man I’d met on the cruise. It’s a relief, really, to hear him sound happy and relaxed.
