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“How was the poker game with your brothers?” I ask.
“Boone cleared house. The little shit. But otherwise it was good.”
“Does Boone normally win?”
Harlan nods. “Since he’s come back home, yeah. So. Ah. Jedd and I talked about your camper tonight.” There’s something in his tone that has me straightening my shoulders.
“Okay?”
The apprehension in my own voice is enough to have Harlan’s gaze find mine.
“He thinks with the cost of parts and labor against the value of the camper, they’re going to total it out.”
A pit of anxiety forms in the base of my tummy.
“What does that mean? He can’t fix it?” I can’t stop the screechy whisper any more than I can stop the bubbling panic.
“It means that your insurance won’t pay for the repairs. If the repairs are determined to be too high by your insurance company, they can choose to total the vehicle out and pay you its estimated value. Jedd can probably fix it — at least mostly, but insurance won’t pay for it, and it won’t be cheap.”
“Did he say how much it would cost?”
He bounces his knee lightly when Audra squirms. “He didn’t. If you want, you can call him tomorrow or go down to the shop. I’ll leave his number for you either way. You do have insurance, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, but only liability. Fuck,” I say. Liability means that I won’t get paid out a cent for my camper. My tight money situation just got tighter. The dread moves from my chest to grip my throat in a stranglehold.
“Hey.” Harlan’s hand lightly touches my wrist. So light that I barely feel it. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out.”
I shake my head. Because I don’t know that this can be fixed.
“Are you sure?” The question squeaks through my now-pinhole-sized windpipe.
He nods. “Jedd’s been a mechanic for a long time. He can usually tell these things before insurance gets involved.”
I try to tamp down the rising panic. “How do you know so much about this?”
“Totaled my truck a couple of years back after running off the road when I hit an ice patch. That and Jedd’s shop talk helped me learn over the years.”
A stupefied nod is the only reply I can muster.
I have no camper. No vehicle. No way of running. I’m trapped.
The panic claws its way up my chest and neck to spark the start of a headache at the base of my skull. My hands shake lightly against where I’ve got them fisted on my legs.
Audra lets out a squawk and kicks her legs against Harlan’s stomach.
I have no way of protecting her.
“Maisie.” Harlan’s voice is soft but firm. “Maisie. Look at me.” Harlan reaches out and traces that butterfly light touch over my arm. I lock onto his hazel eyes. “Breathe Maisie.” The commanding tone is what does it. Pressure in my chest loosens and releases when I let out the breath I was holding.
“I’m sorry.” It’s lame, but it’s the only thing that I can offer. He must think that I’m a basket case. First, I lose it in the garage when I saw my camper, and now he’s seeing me lose it again in the middle of the night in the apartment that he offered after I wrecked my own damn camper trying to avoid an animal on the road. I’m sitting here damn near having a panic attack in front of one of the first people to be truly kind to me after so long, and I can’t stop the thoughts from attacking.
Worthless.
Stupid.
Waste of space.
Good for nothing.
