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“That's another thing,” Lottie replies, ignoring my assurances, “it's not just our team I'm worried about. I'm not sure I like the idea of keeping this contractor on. It seems to be his fault that we're all in this mess.”
Even though I'm still angry with Julian, Lottie's accusation stirs a protective agitation in me. “Julian is not someone you need to worry about,” I declare with a surety. “He's the best contractor in the area, and his crew is excellent. They're professional, efficient, and just as dedicated to this project as I am. You're not going to find a better man within a hundred miles.” Embarrassment warms my cheeks at my choice of words, at how boldly I came to Julian's defense. “A better man for the job, I mean.”
Good Lord, when did I fall in so deep?
The line is silent for a minute, and I wait in anxious anticipation for Lottie’s answer. Finally, she speaks. “I trust your judgement, Natalie.”
A huge sigh escapes me, a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Lottie trusts me.
“Thank you, Lottie,” I answer, indescribably relieved.
“I'll let the project continue as planned—for now—but only on the condition that you tell me the second something else happens, okay?” Her proposal is more than reasonable; it's gracious, actually.
“Of course, Lottie, I promise.” Her trust means everything to me right now, as it helps to fight against the seeds of doubt that have begun to grow in my own mind.
As I end the call, my phone screen switches back to the previously opened text thread between Julian and me. His message from this morning hangs heavily at the bottom, still unanswered.
Julian
I know I don't deserve it, but I would really appreciate the chance to talk to you. I'll be home all day if you want to come by.
Do I want to go to Julian's? The answer is a complicated one. Julian deeply hurt me, holding the worst moments of my life against me, but it was only that painful because of the feelings I've developed for him over the past weeks. I hate admitting that I let him get so deep under my skin.
But I knew our relationship would be tricky, full of risks. We both acknowledged that we wouldn't be perfect, that we would both do our best—together. That kind of trust also means allowing him the opportunity to explain himself. I owe him that, at the very least.
The worst part, though, is that despite everything we're going through, part of me really wants to see Julian anyway.
The tension of the past few days lingers like a shadow as I pull up to Julian's house. Despite my swirling emotions, I know that I'll ultimately feel better after this necessary conversation. I need clarity and perhaps, closure—whether that leads to reconciliation or a firmer divide, I'm not yet sure.
As I step up to the front door, my heart pounds with a mix of apprehension and a faint, remaining hope. Before I can knock, the door swings open, and there stands Aria. I almost forgot that she would be here, but she looks genuinely happy to see me, her bright smile momentarily lifting the heavy atmosphere.
"Natalie!" Aria's voice is cheerful, a stark contrast to the turmoil I feel inside. Her presence, so innocent and joyful, disarms me for a moment.
"Hi, Aria! How are you?" I manage a smile, touched by her warmth.
"I'm good! Daddy and I made cookies. You have to try them!" Her enthusiasm is infectious, and it almost makes me forget the seriousness of why I'm here.
"I'd love to. Thank you, Aria,” I reply as she leads me into the house, her small hand in mine feeling like a lifeline in the confusing storm of my emotions. But with my stomach churning from the stress of being in Julian's home, I add gently, “Maybe a little later, though—is that okay? "
“Okay,” Aria answers, totally unbothered. Being so young and unaware of the complexities around you must be nice.
As we enter the living room, Julian stands up from where he's been sitting. He’s wearing a fitted shirt that accentuates his broad shoulders and toned physique, and despite everything, I can't help but notice how handsome he looks. The sight of him, so familiar yet so distant, tugs at something deep inside me.
"Hey, Nat. Thanks for coming," he says, and he actually sounds surprised that I came. His eyes search mine, looking for a sign of the walls I've built up since our last encounter.
“Well, you know," I respond, keeping my voice cool. "Aria said there are cookies involved."
A brief smile crosses his face, a softening around his eyes. "Yes, we've been busy in the kitchen," he admits. But then his expression becomes serious again, the smile fading as quickly as it appeared. He bends down to address Aria. “Hey, kiddo, why don't you go play in your room for a few minutes?”
“Aw, but I wanted to play with Natalie,” Aria whines, bolstering me with her easy acceptance of my presence.
Julian smiles and tousles her hair. “Maybe we can all play together in a little bit. But right now, Daddy and Natalie need to have some grown-up time, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy,” Aria relents. Though her shoulders slump with dejection, she walks to her room without further protest.
“Thanks, sweetie,” Julian calls after her. Aria's compliance, and Julian's gentleness in teaching her, are both testaments to how great of a father he is. My heart stutters in my chest, betraying my resolve to stay in control off my faculties today.
Julian stands and runs a hand through his loose hair, moving it out of the way of his face. Damn him. I bet he left it down on purpose today, knowing full well the effect it has on me.
