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To my utter mortification, tears spring to my eyes.
“No!” Ellie shouts in panic. “That’s not allowed. If you cry, I’ll cry, and then we’ll both be a mess.” She sets the clothes down, grabs my arm, and races us out of the store.
“But what about—” I try to slow her down.
“Shhhh. We’ll come back and apologize or something. Don’t worry about it.” Ellie steers us to an ice cream kiosk in the mall and orders two huge cups of ice cream. Chocolate for me and strawberry for her. Then she finds us a bench that’s positioned somewhat out of the way of the mall traffic and gives me her full attention. All the while, I’ve just been following like a lost puppy without a mother.
“Okay. Now we can both cry if we need to. I got napkins.” She waves the white paper in the air like a flag.
It’s the final straw, and I lose it, laughing out loud without a care in the world. Ellie starts grinning at me, her eyes communicating how confused she is, but she’s going with it.
I pull my best friend into an embrace. “I love you, Ells. I have no clue what I would do without you.”
“Ditto. Thank fuck we never have to find out.”
I huff out a laugh. “No kidding.”
“Are you ready to explain?”
I exhale, taking a second to gather my thoughts. “I have no fucking clue what I’m doing with Nolan. He’s… I don’t even know how to explain it. Incredible sounds lame when I say it out loud. It doesn’t seem to matter whether we’re going out to dinner or spending time at my house; he makes it fun. I’ve never been this happy. Hell, I’d never looked forward to my birthday until he decided to plan a night out for me. He’s too much, but simultaneously, I can’t get enough of him. I think about him constantly, wondering what he’s doing or how his day was. I worry about how much time he’s spending with us and am always preparing for the moment he finally decides we’re too much to take on. These feelings are overwhelming, and I have no idea what to do with them.
“This birthday dinner is just the icing on the already overloaded cake. How in the ever-loving fuck am I supposed to keep a level head when Nolan is doing something like this every time I turn around?”
Ellie’s face fills with understanding. “I’m going to say something that’s going to scare the living hell out of you at first, but after you think about it for a minute, you’ll see I’m right.”
“Oh, God,” I groan, making Ellie laugh.
“You’re in love with him. You’ve fallen head over ass for Nolan.”
I blanch. “No. That’s not possible. We’ve only been dating for like a month and a half, and that’s if I include New Year’s!”
Ellie just sits in silence, letting me stew. I shove a heaping spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, immediately regretting the decision when the cold seeps into my brain. When I swallow down my bite, the revelation hits me like a Mack truck. “I’m in love with fucking Nolan Ellis.”
Ellie and I frown at the same time. “I don’t think that was the correct order of words,” Ellie says.
“I mean… they weren’t exactly wrong, though.” I start to giggle at the absurdity of this conversation, effectively setting off Ellie’s laughter, as well. When we finally sober, I look at my best friend. “I don’t know how to be in love.”
“Neither did I. The only reason I managed to figure it out is because of Adam. I have a feeling that Nolan will help you, too.”
I stare at myself in the long mirror in Ellie’s bathroom. The black dress we finally picked out after my meltdown isn’t my typical style. The fifties-inspired shape is doing wonders for my waistline, but the sweetheart neckline is making my boobs press up higher than I’m used to. A strap wraps around the back of my neck, so I’m not too worried about it falling. I’m just feeling a little out of my element.
I also want Nolan to like it.
Ellie brought me back to her house to get ready. She wouldn’t take no for an answer when I tried to get her to take me home. Per her words, “You don’t want to ruin the surprise.” I asked her if it would be just as surprising if I walked out of the bathroom ready to go, and she told me it wouldn’t be the same, so here I am. In Ellie and Adam’s bathroom, getting ready.
Well, I’m already ready. Now, I’m just trying to psych myself up to go. After our chat, the idea of me being in love with Nolan has taken root, and I’m freaking the fuck out about it. I don’t know what it means to be in love. I’ve felt teenage love in high school, lusty love for my boyfriends in college, and then I had Cody. I haven’t dated anyone since he came along. I’ve been too busy trying to keep my head above water to date—seriously or otherwise.
I got comfortable in my single life. No man was capable of giving me the pleasure I needed, and when I started to feel the shadow of loneliness creep in, I would go out.
Nolan has been different from day one. He’s treated me with more respect than any man outside of my father ever has. I don’t think I ever had a choice in the matter. Falling in love with him was inevitable. Now, I just have to figure out what I’m going to do about it.
“You ready to go?” Ellie pops her head into the bathroom. “Damn, girl. You look like sex on a stick!”
I laugh at Ellie’s reference to one of our favorite romance movies, Sweet Home Alabama. I flip a few of my curls off my shoulders and double-check that my dress and heels are still where I want them to be. “I’m ready.”
As I follow behind Ellie, I take in her adorable blue skirt with white daisies on it, tights, and crop top. “You look cute, Ells. Are you going somewhere after you drop me off?”
“Yeah, Adam made plans for us tonight.”
