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My stomach drops when her palm slides up his chest possessively. All I can focus on is the place where she’s touching him even though she’s mostly blocking my view with her body. She’s wearing a tight-fitting tank top and a short skirt even though it’s cold outside. She looks stunning, like always. A bright beam in the dim lighting of the bar.
I know if I glance around, I’ll see more than one pair of eyes on her. And I’m sure if I looked at Sam right now, I’d catch him watching her too. Studying the fullness of her lips, the glow of tan skin, the plump lines of her breasts that are currently spilling from her top. If I was brave enough to peek, I’m sure he’d be stuck with interest, with hunger, while I sit on the sidelines, forgotten. He’ll throw that sexy smirk at her, the one that has all the girls ready to meet him in the deserted back hall of the bar. The same one that will have my sister on her knees before the night is over.
I’m still standing here, but I can feel myself fading into the shadows created by Eve’s shine. She’s always been the honeytrap, catching all the men in her web. She’s the main attraction while I am just … here.
My thoughts start to pull me under, and I suddenly feel sober, like I haven’t had countless drinks tonight. It’s especially unnerving because all I want to be is drunk and clueless right now. The last thing I want is to watch Eve and Sam hit it off like I know they will. I don’t think I can stomach it, though I don’t want to explore the reasons why. I know I’m out of my league. They are two beautiful, deadly professional hit men in a world of amateur marksmen, me included.
I don’t glance at either of them when I turn on my heel and walk toward the back corner. Sam says my name, but I act like I don’t hear him. I don’t want to see the pity in his eyes. Or the dismissal. I don’t want a front-row seat as he struggles to include me now that my bombshell sister is in the picture. And I know Eve forgot me as soon as the hockey player was in her sights.
Sam and I had a moment. That’s all it was.
“I need another shot,” I announce to the table when I arrive, desperate to escape the thoughts inside my head.
A couple of the rugby guys yell out encouragement while another raises his hand to get the waitress’s attention.
My eyes meet Suki’s. She’s studying me from across the table, a furrow between her brows. I stare back, aware that she can see right through me. I have no chance of hiding the confusion and conflicting emotions I feel from my best friend.
I wasn’t expecting the Sam who arrived here tonight. The hand-holding, the flirting. The attention. The rugby guys were showering us with the same attentiveness, but somehow, it was different when it was from Sam. It was like I had been standing in the dark my entire life, and then, bam, his eyes were on me, warming me in a spotlight I never knew I wanted. His awareness is something I never craved before, but now that I’ve had it, even for a brief moment, I understand the pull. Because suddenly, there’s a desire stirring inside of me to have it again. To work for it, even if it means competing with the Eves of the world. The problem is, I’ve never been able to compete with Eve for anything, especially not men.
All that when he barely touched me. I’m a silly, stupid girl.
A shot lands in front of me. Someone toasts. Our glasses meet in the middle of the table, clinking together as some of the liquor spills over a rim. I tap the bottom to the table and throw it down my throat. I no longer taste the burn, reminding me that I’ve had enough for tonight. But it doesn’t stop me. All I want to do is to be irresponsible and someone other than myself right now. And I wonder if this is the snare that Sam got caught in time after time over the years every time the alcohol started flowing.
Was he drinking to forget something or partying to remember? Which one am I trying to do right now?
I wink at the attractive guy that hands me a fruity cocktail, finding comfort in showering attention on a stranger. Someone who means nothing to me and fails to stir up uneasy feelings in the depths of my gut, even though I know I probably shouldn’t accept drinks from a person I don’t know. But the reckless side of me that rarely exists doesn’t care as I sip from the straw, downing half the drink in a couple of swallows.
I don’t let myself glance back across the room even though my mind is still over there. But at some point, Eve ends up by my side anyway.
“What are you doing out?” she asks me, a frustrated pout on her lips as she stares across the bar.
“Girls’ night,” I say vaguely.
“Oh, right.” She nods. “Mads?”
I narrow my eyes at the girl who I once looked up to, realizing she thinks the only reason I ended up at a bar in the middle of the city with the hockey team is because I’m friends with Madison. But Eve’s not paying me close attention anyway, so she fails to notice that I’m offended. Despite my best efforts, I follow her gaze until my eyes land on Sam. He’s standing with a couple of his teammates, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingertips as he laughs at something one of them says. He stands out, even in the middle of a crowd.
“What are you doing here?” I ask her.
She shrugs, her attention still elsewhere. “I heard the Hawks were out tonight.”
My sister follows all the gossip sites online that track the team. They must’ve mentioned this place when the guys were spotted out after the game.
“No,” I continue, crossing my arms over my chest. “I mean, what are you doing over here with me? I thought you’d be halfway to Sam’s place by now.” I don’t add that it’s my place too. Mentioning that would only start a conversation I don’t want to have.
She sighs. “I wish.” She grabs the mixed drink from my hand and takes a sip. “But I don’t think he’s looking for a hookup tonight. He turned me down.”
There’s a smug satisfaction that warms my chest. “What do you mean?”
“I suggested we go back to his place or mine, but he wasn’t into it,” she explains, twisting a piece of hair around her finger. “But I haven’t given up. He can’t resist me forever.”
Eve is looking at Sam like she’s the predator and he’s the prey. A lump forms in my throat. My sister is not one to wallow in defeat. Sam is a challenge, and that only makes him even more of a prize in her eyes.
“I’ll have him by the end of the night,” Eve confirms with the ghost of a smile on her face as I swallow hard.
At least my sister is as oblivious to me, as always. She has no idea how her words are affecting me.
I look away, forcing my eyes to keep moving when they land on Sam again. I don’t want to picture him with Eve. Sam, the guy I almost kissed tonight. The same guy I’m not sure if I like or hate most days, but know I’m not indifferent to. I make an excuse to walk away from my sister.
