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There are walls between us that weren’t there before. She erected each protective layer carefully after I walked away and has been fortifying them ever since. But I’m nothing if not determined. And I’m prepared to bulldoze my way back into her life if I must. She’ll see that it took me a little longer to recognize what she had seen in us from the start. I’m ready now.
“Here we are,” she deadpans, her tone as flat as her expression. I’m undeterred. “What’s on tap for the night?”
Oakley aims the question at Sims and McMann while attempting to ice me out. I kind of like the fact that she’s making me work for it. It makes me respect her more. And I’m afraid if she made it too easy for me, I’d lose interest in us all over again.
I open the refrigerator and offer Oakley and Madison, her best friend, an Amstel Light.
“A cold beer sounds perfect,” Oakley admits while looking over at Mads.
Mads reaches out, and I hand her a bottle. She winks at me in thanks as she twists the cap off. It surprises me a little—Madison’s warm reception. There’s been a cold war brewing between us ever since I broke her BFF’s heart. She took it personally—a testament to their close bond. The last time we all ended up at the same bar, I overheard her nicknaming me Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. I would never admit it to her, but that one stung. And it stuck. It’s been swimming around inside my mind since she said it. But this is the first time since that night that she hasn’t murdered me with her eyes. Progress.
I’m studying Oakley as Mads flirts with my teammates across the room. My ex watches them with a smile on her face, enjoying the free entertainment. She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, and my gaze drops to the curve of her neck. I have to physically stop myself from reaching out to touch her as muscle memory kicks in. My fingers tingle, and I can almost feel the softness of her skin across the distance.
Oakley doesn’t turn her attention to me until Mads follows my two teammates into the living room. I hand her a cold bottle of beer with the lid removed, but don’t let go when her fingers collapse around it. Awareness kicks in as those eyes are suddenly on me. She tilts her head with confusion written across her beautiful face.
“What’s this?” she asks. Her voice is soft and low. Almost intimate.
My mind goes back to the nights we lay in each other’s bed, talking well into the night.
“You asked for one of my beers,” I reply smoothly.
She lifts an eyebrow as we stand a breath away, holding on to the same bottle. I’m not willing to let it go. Our fingertips are millimeters apart. This beer is the only thing connecting us right now. It’s a small victory, but I’ll take what I can get if it means coming closer to her. She doesn’t let go either, giving me a tiny glimmer of hope that she still feels something for me. That she remembers how great we once were.
“Well, are you going to give it to me?” she challenges, providing me with a perfect opening.
I smirk. “Oh, I’ll give it to you all right.”
“Okay, Charlie,” she snarks, equating my behavior with my teammate’s.
I relinquish the beer. My eyes fall to her mouth as she takes a sip and then another. A rosy hue makes its way up her neck and colors her cheeks, proving that I still affect her. That she’s aware of my attention. That she still feels … something.
She looks away, trying to remain unimpressed by me. She’s throwing those walls back into place. I can smell her fear in the air. The guilt attacks my conscience because I’m the one who made her cautious in the first place.
I stay quiet as she thanks me for the beer and turns to walk into the living room. But I follow her and grab two dining room chairs along the way, knowing there won’t be any open seats left around the television. I purposely place my chair close to hers so I can enjoy the feel of her thigh pressed against mine. The air between us is charged with awareness. Her chest rises and falls with a deep breath right before she empties her beer. The bottle barely hits the floor beside her chair before I’m rising to replace her drink with a new one.
Her eyes silently question me when I return to hand her a new cold brew. There are so many things left unsaid between us. So many secrets I want to confess now. Mostly how much I’ve missed her. But there are too many ears in the room and too many eyes watching us right now. I can feel them even though I’m pretending not to notice.
We both shift our attention to the screen and watch as the Bruins compete for a spot in the finals. I’m a lifelong fan, and I react along with the rest of the room when the team scores. And even though I’m not focused on her, I can feel the wheels turning in Oakley’s head. She’s always been a deep thinker.
“It’s hot in here,” I say.
I slide my hand across her thigh, where it belongs, and ignore the way she stiffens at my touch. I’m sure I’ve just surprised her tonight. She probably thought we were completely finished. That we’d never get back together. Hell, I thought that too until recently.
The first period of the game ends, and people start moving around the house.
“Come outside with me?” I ask, pleading gently.
“Why?” she asks.
“Because I need some air. And I want you to keep me company.”
She hesitates. Her gaze hits the floor.
I dip my head until her eyes are fused with mine once again. “Come on, Oak.”
I can see the moment she decides to come. We rise and walk to the back. I hold the door for her, treating her like the queen she is. It warms my chest when she steps onto the empty deck with me. She walks to the railing, and I move in closer to eliminate any space between us. Her spine stiffens. She takes a drink of her Amstel Light. When she rests her free hand on the wood, I immediately slip mine on top of hers, lacing our fingers together. It’s a move as natural as breathing. I’ve done it a thousand times before, just not recently. But it feels right. Familiar. She’s warm and soft. She’s mine.
Something sinks back into place inside of me with us together again in this quiet backyard. Most of our friends are a few feet away in the house. It’s time to make my move and remind her of what we were. Convince her of what we could be now.
