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“Please,” I interrupt. The pain in my voice is evident. But it’s not from physical pain. It’s from worry. It’s the unknown looming in the distance, waiting to steal my future. “Just … don’t right now.” I look away as I say the words, not wanting to see the hurt expression on her face. I know I’ll cave if I do. And I’m too angry and too stubborn to give her comfort in this moment.
I flick on the television for some background noise as Madison watches me. She stands there for at least five minutes before walking across the room. The bathroom door closes softly behind her. She uses the facilities and showers before reemerging again twenty minutes later. I don’t glance in her direction as she disappears into the bedroom. Not too long later, the lights turn out.
I sleep on the couch that night, though I don’t get much rest. And the next morning, I pretend that I’m not awake as Madison gathers her things for work. I don’t open my lids or move until she leaves. I need some space, and I’m not ready to talk about things yet.
My knee is sore this morning, even more than it was last night. It takes me longer than usual to shower and dress. I contact the sports medicine doctor for our college team, and he agrees to work me in. I call Sims. Luckily, he isn’t working today, so he’s on his way to pick me up. Then, I do the thing I dread the most. I contact the Hawks.
And I wait outside for Sims to pull up to take me to the orthopedist so I can learn my fate.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
MADISON
I worked a double today, and I’ve never been happier for a lengthy shift. The apartment was stifling last night and this morning from the tension inside the small space. Ollie didn’t move from his spot on the couch. And he barely said a word to me since the injury. I can’t blame him though. This is his worst nightmare coming to fruition, and I’m the one to blame for it.
When Ollie picked me up from work last night, he looked so hot, sitting in his Bronco. I wanted to do something spontaneous with him. Something memorable. I can feel the confines of time closing in on us. Every day the pressure rises. Skinny-dipping sounded like the perfect nighttime outing to forget it all, if only for a moment. And it was sexy and fun. Until it wasn’t.
Nick is out of town for the next week. He’s on vacation. He asked me to water his plants on the back patio of his house once or twice until his daughter could make it home to house-sit. He said I could use the pool whenever I wanted. I guess his daughter came home early.
I thought it would be more adventurous and sexier if I didn’t tell Ollie that we had permission to be at the house. I wanted to push him, get him to expand his horizons and do something out of character. He’s always so controlled … I can see the spark in his eyes when we do something risky together. He gets a high from it the same way I do.
Last night started out so perfectly. But it ended in the worst possible way.
“Thanks for the ride,” I tell Henley when she drops me off in front of the apartment. I shut her car door behind me and wave as she drives off.
I called Henley for a ride to work this morning. Luckily, Ollie’s apartment is on the way for her, and she was working the early shift with me anyway.
I turn to look at the apartment. The front door is closed, as always. There’s a lamp on in the living room that I can see through the window even though the sun is still shining. That probably means Ollie’s home. I have no idea what kind of reception I’m about to get. I’m not sure if he needs more space, like last night. And if he does, I’m not sure how to give it to him.
I drag my feet as I walk up the staircase, and I hesitate for a full minute before unlocking the door. There’s an ominous pit in my stomach that I can’t ignore.
“Hey,” I say cautiously when I finally open the door and see him standing in the kitchen.
He’s drinking a glass of water. The lower half of him is hidden by the island.
“Hey,” he replies in an eerily calm, cool tone.
Well, at least he’s speaking to me today.
“I’m so sorry about last night,” I barrel on, unable to help myself.
I don’t know if I’m making things better or worse, but I feel this sudden need to fix things, and I can’t shut up. I’m desperate to mend the fences between us so we can go back to normal. I want him to sleep next to me, not on the couch in the living room. We don’t have much more time as it is.
“I had permission to be at that house. I just didn’t tell you. I thought it would be hotter and more exciting if we were doing something forbidden.”
The creases in Ollie’s forehead deepen with each syllable I speak. His thunderous expression tells me I’m making everything worse, but I want him to know the truth regardless of his reaction. I need to tell him.
“It’s Nick’s place, my manager at Cheerz. He’s out of town for the week, and he asked me to water his plants. Said I could use his pool. I guess his daughter came home a few days early though.” The words tumble out of me like a run-on sentence.
Ollie’s just standing there with this stern look on his face, looking at me like a child being reprimanded by her father.
“You should’ve told me that last night,” he says coolly.
His expression is hard. I’ve seen that look before. It’s been directed at Oakley and me in the past when we messed up or did something Ollie didn’t like.
I suddenly feel foolish. Yes, I messed up, but it wasn’t like I planned for this to happen. It’s not like I wanted him to get hurt. My resentment starts to grow as I realize that he’s not looking at me as an equal. I’m still that little girl he grew up with. The reckless, crazy one who needed to be corrected and tamed. I’m the flaky female friend of his sister with the unstable home life who doesn’t know the difference between wrong and right. The girl who didn’t grow up with an example of a stable family and one who can’t be trusted. I’m a mistake.
Any trace of the softness Ollie had toward me has vanished. The tightness in my chest grows as I recognize the glint in his gaze.
