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With the door shut behind me, I look in the mirror. My hair is a mess, and my cheeks are flushed. I pull the cups of my bra back into place, noticing the angry red skin where Ollie’s scruff rubbed across my breasts. My lips are swollen. But I’m glowing.
I smile back at my reflection.
I didn’t go out with Johnny to torture Ollie. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to get under his skin. I’m tired of the whiplash my best friend’s brother has been giving me with his mercurial attitude. And if it took another man to galvanize Ollie into action … I’ll never regret it.
Because the past few days, I’ve felt like I was drowning … but with that first touch, I can finally breathe again.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
OLLIE
Watching Madison walk out the door for her date with the Kurt Cobain wannabe was like taking a knife to the chest. It left a gaping wound, one that continued to ooze and fester the entire time she was gone. I picked at my dinner, no longer hungry, even though I had been starving right before I walked into my apartment. I tried to watch the hockey game on television, but I couldn’t concentrate.
So, I sat in that chair and nursed a beer with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. I tried to rationalize things and talk myself down from the ledge. I’ve always been able to compartmentalize my feelings, but no matter how hard I try lately, I can’t seem to fit Madison into a box. She’s much too big and bright to fit into some cramped, manufactured space with all the other women I’ve known. In those hours she was gone, I thought about all the things I’d told myself I never wanted. And then I pictured her in that dress, looking the way she did … and suddenly, those reasons no longer mattered.
The sun slowly sank outside, throwing the room into shadows and then into darkness, but it fit my mood, so I didn’t flip on a lamp. I sat there like a bitch, sulking and obsessing over a woman I had known for most of my life, but one that I’d never really considered before now. I had to talk myself out of driving around town to find her and forcefully take her home. And even though I didn’t act on it, I wanted to. I wanted to drag her out of that date like a caveman and strap her to my bed, where she couldn’t escape. I’ve always been possessive of the people and the things that were mine, but I don’t normally lose control like this. But Madison’s driving me crazy. She’s turning me into a man I don’t recognize.
She’s a distraction I can’t afford, but one I can’t seem to resist.
I knew from the minute she stepped foot in my apartment that I was in trouble. I tried to deny it. I tried to ignore the growing attraction between us, hoping it would just go away. But it won’t. And I can’t ignore it any longer. And now, I’m done trying.
I read the same sentence over and over again on the screen of my phone. It’s from Chase, but I can’t seem to focus on the words. I can’t get past the smell of Madison’s arousal all over my fingers. I keep seeing the picture of her face when she came, the look of pure, unadulterated bliss. The way her mouth fell open and her head dropped back. And the feel of her long legs wrapped around mine while she rode my hand. The softness of her skin everywhere. The wetness and heat of her core …
I adjust the erection in my shorts, trying to find a more comfortable position. But I’m still aching and ridiculously hard. I send a quick response back to Chase that I hope makes sense and toss my phone back on the table. I rise to my feet when I hear the bathroom door open. Madison emerges. She’s wearing my T-shirt. It must’ve been in the bathroom. Her bra is dangling from her fingertips. She’s never looked more like mine than she does in this moment.
“I’m going to take a quick shower,” I announce. Translation: I’m going to rub one out in the privacy of my bathroom so I can actually sleep tonight without being in pain.
“Okay.”
Madison’s eyes drop to the floor in a move that’s very much unlike her. She normally exudes nothing but confidence, but right now, she seems timid and unsure. I hate that I’ve made her feel small. That in trying to protect both of us along the way, I’ve confused and wounded her in the process.
“Hey,” I murmur, the pad of my finger tipping her chin upward when I’m close enough to touch her.
I wait until she’s looking at me, and I see the uncertainty in her icy-blue eyes. I lean forward until my lips are sweeping across her mouth. I linger there, but don’t deepen it. This is about reassurance, not lust.
When I pull back, her eyes have brightened, and her lips are tilted into a small smile. I kiss her forehead and walk past her into the bathroom.
The apartment is quiet when I emerge from the shower sometime later. I have a clean pair of boxers on, but don’t bother with a shirt or shorts. I walk into the kitchen for a drink of water and glance at the couch while I’m gulping down the liquid. That piece of furniture that has been my bed as of late mocks me in the darkness. I look over at my bedroom. The door is cracked open, and I can see the glow of the lamp through the slit. There’s a clicking sound a moment later, and the light disappears.
I place the empty glass in the sink and walk past the couch with determination. The bedroom door creaks when I push it open. I can see the outline of Madison’s body silhouetted in the moonlight from the window as she lies in my bed.
“Hey,” she says, her voice low and soft as she glances over her shoulder. “Did you want the bed tonight?”
“Yep,” I confirm. I want the bed with you in it.
I walk closer and stop her when she pushes the covers off and slides her legs over the side of the mattress to climb out.
I lift her legs again and move her entire body over, slipping in behind her and covering us both with the sheets.
“Oh,” she whispers when she realizes I want her to stay.
“There’s room for both of us in here.”
I can sense her smile even though I can’t see it with her facing the other direction. I pull her closer until I’m spooning her from behind. Her body feels warm and soft, and she molds perfectly into mine. She relaxes into my hold. I fall asleep quickly with her in my arms.
???
The text Chase sent said he was coming to town on Sunday with some of the guys for us to play that pickup game of hockey that we’d talked about at the end of the semester. Oakley was planning to come, too, but when she found out that Madison was working the lunch shift at Cheerz that day, she decided to stay home. She’s coming next weekend instead because Madison’s birthday is approaching quickly. She’ll turn twenty in a few more days. And my sister wants to celebrate with her best friend.
