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“You hate me, don’t you?” he asks a bit too suddenly.
I clutch the chair tightly as tears sting my eyes. “You took everything from me, my life, my sanity,” I stop.
And now you’re taking the joy of motherhood from me. I just heard that I was pregnant, and all I have felt since the minute I heard that, was pain and anxiety.
I don’t say this part out loud. I clutch tightly to the chair, staring at him.
“I am sorry for everything I have done to hurt you, Alyssa.”
I scoff. “Thank you, that means so much,” I reply between my teeth.
Something flashes in his eyes, but before I can read it, he looks away.
“I can’t give back what I have taken, but here is what I can do. You can go see your family.”
My eyes widen, and I look at him. A tear slips from my eyes, and he reaches out to wipe it away. “Don’t fuck with me.”
“I’m not.”
He straightens up to his full height.
“I’m too much of a coward to let you go completely just yet, but for a day or two, you can be with your family.”
I can’t believe him.
“What if I choose never to return?”
He looks down at me. “You don’t have a choice. You’re still mine, Alyssa.”
I have no words. I just sit still and try to figure out my next move. I place a hand over my belly, as if this will protect the tiny life growing within me. I have to think about someone else now, not just myself, or my selfish revenge.
I look at Antonio in a new light. He’s the father of my child. Can I really still be thinking about killing him? Everything feels like it’s moving too fast, and I can’t order my thoughts or make decisions.
He says a few more things that I can’t make out, and the next thing I know, Mary comes to take me to a parked car. I am ushered into the car as he stands there, looking at me.
His hands are tucked into his pockets, and his eyes are distant. He is the father of my child. The thought hits me slowly, sucking the life out of me. I look ahead as the gigantic gates open and the car starts to drive away.
I have been a prisoner for what seems so long that I have forgotten what the view beyond the gates looked like. I laugh bitterly and look down at my stomach.
Was I bringing a child into this world to become a prisoner just like I am? Why on earth can’t I bring myself to end this child’s unfortunate future before it begins?
I sniff and hold back tears. I look out of the window.
“Excuse me, I think you’re going the wrong way,” I tell the driver as I look at the unfamiliar route.
“You have nothing to worry about, ma’am. I am following the exact directions on the GPS.”
I close my eyes and inhale. Antonio is a jerk, but he wouldn’t hurt me, would he? Even if he wanted to get rid of me, he wouldn’t do it this way, would he?
Except if he found out about the baby or Giovanni. I feel the phone that I tucked into my dress. I could still use it to call his enemy.
I brush off my thoughts and focus on the scenery. After roughly an hour, we finally pull up to a strange house, and he stops.
“We are here, ma’am.”
“I told you,” I say as he opens my door. “This isn’t my home.”
I hear the sound of the door opening.
