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An imaginary anvil buried itself deep within my chest. “He could still call, right?”
Ryker frowned. “He would’ve called by now. He’s not going to be here. You can’t fall apart on me. I’m in this with you, but you’ve got to be in it with me. Are you?”
My chin trembled as I gazed at him. “Julian…”
“Julian would expect you to be strong. He always told me you had more courage than anyone he’d ever met. Don’t make him a liar.” I nodded, not able to speak. “All right, here we go…” As Ryker finished his count, I struggled to stay conscious.
“Okay, Miss Ryan, the head is almost out. This kid has a head full of dark hair.”
With tears rolling, my small whisper filled the room. “You can see her?”
Ryker’s eyes widened. “Her?”
Shit. I want those words back.
“Miss Ryan, you’ve got to push harder.” The doctor wiped his forehead on his shoulder. I inhaled quickly and pushed with more force. The lightheadedness returned as the room swam. “Again! Do it again, now!”
Closing my eyes, I released the hold on my thighs. “I’ve got nothing left. Why is nothing happening?”
“A woman can push for many hours until a baby is born, but we have a tricky situation here,” the doctor explained. “The baby isn’t tolerating all of this prolonged pushing and stress. If nothing happens in the next twenty minutes, then I’ll perform an emergency C-section.”
“I don’t want one! You don’t understand what I’ve…what I’ve been through.” The thought of someone near my abdomen with a blade sent vomit traveling up my throat. “I can’t be cut. I can’t go through that again.”
The doctor’s stony stare confirmed my fear. “No one wants a C-section, but my job is to deliver a live baby.”
All four walls closed in on me. While I’d endure anything to keep her safe, images of my father’s knife and a surgical scalpel fused together in my mind. In desperate need of reassurance, I reached for Ryker’s hand. From the side table, the faint ring of his cell phone filled the background noise. I held his wrist firmly as he moved toward it.
“Ry, let it ring. I need you here.”
He glanced at it wistfully. “It could be important.”
“Who the hell would it be? No one important could call right now, right?” I lifted a sweat-drenched eyebrow.
Wiping his own face with the back of his hand, he sighed. “Screw it. If it’s important, they’ll call back.”
“I hate to interrupt, but we have a time issue here, kids.” Deep lines etched the doctor’s face. “Miss Ryan, you’re going to push hard for the next twenty minutes. If we’re no closer to delivery, or the baby’s vital signs drop anymore, I will perform a C-section. Are we clear?
As the determined ring of the cell phone quieted, I faced forward with renewed determination. “Let’s do this. I’ll make this work.”
I pushed through four contractions, and all I had to show for it were four popped eye blood vessels Ryker pointed out. Time slipped away from me, and the doctor would soon revoke his reprieve.
This had to work.
“Well, I didn’t expect that.” The doctor’s voice edged with astonishment.
Alarm shot through me. “What?”
“The baby’s moving. Do that a few more times, and you’ve got it.”
As the next wave took control, Ryker’s damn cell phone rang again. He looked back at it, curiosity written across his tired face. “Pheebs, do you mind? It might be Mom. I did kind of call her in a panic.”
Dismissing him with a wave, I grunted through clenched teeth. “I. Don’t. Care.” A flurry of activity ensued as he disappeared. The doctor shouted medical jargon to others in scrubs. Amidst all the orders and breathing, Ryker’s mumbles became audible.
“I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up.” I strained to listen. “Oh god, Julian!”
One name, and all the air swooshed from my lungs. “Julian? It’s Julian? Ryker!”
He nodded vigorously. “Man, where the hell are you? What? What voice mail? Oh shit. That was you? It’s intense in here, and—what? No, you didn’t miss it. Damn, bro, your timing’s amazing. Yeah, I’m okay…tired, but okay. Oh, her?” He winked at me. “Eh, she’s sweaty and smells.”
I grasped wildly at the air. “Give me the phone!”
“No time, Miss Ryan. Last push…now!”
“Speaker phone!” I screamed as I inhaled and pushed. Squeezing my eyes shut, Ryker’s frantic voice filled my head.
“Julian, this is it, man. I’ll put you on speaker. When it’s over, I’ll call back with video chat and you can talk to Phoebe, all right?”
I was so focused on extending the push that I didn’t flinch when the sound of air being suctioned from an opened door filled the room.
“Why don’t I just talk to her right now?”
