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My smile widened.
Pavel raised his hands to his head and held it. “You are insane! Do you think you can simply do whatever you want to do?”
I truly believed that this alter was the embodiment of Emily’s innocence and maybe other hidden truths. And if that was correct, then all the alters held clues.
I put my view back on my mouse as she lay asleep on the floor. “I have a unique vantage point, Pavel.”
“You have nothing in this existence—”
“I could piece together—”
“Piece together what? Do you think this is a puzzle that you solve on a coffee table? Because this is not.” He pointed to the ground. “This is her mind. This is insanity formed into solid brick, paint, and walls.”
I shivered.
“You will not be okay after leaving. You will be changed forever.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Have I ever been okay, Pavel?”
“Well. . .no, but at least—”
“This is a puzzle that I can solve.”
“No, Kazimir. This is a shattered vase that is impossible to glue back together.”
I turned to the little girl. “What do you think?”
She squeezed her lion tighter and remained silent.
“I think I could help you and the others.” I touched my chest. “Sometimes it’s hard to heal ourselves because we are right in the center of the problem. Sometimes. . .a stranger, friend, anybody can help because they are looking in from the outside.”
Pavel began pacing. “Finally, I have accepted death. I have even. . .found the joy of it. And the Lion shows me that there are other things more terrifying than death.”
“I could find the original.”
The little girl blinked. “Can you?”
Pavel continued to pace. “He does not know what he is talking about.”
“My perspective is different.” I touched my chin and rubbed it. “I am an outsider, not just to her mind but to her entire experience.”
“Life is a game, Kazimir that you have played well, but death is not a game and Emily’s subconscious is not. . .I do not know what this is.”
“Then, shut up so I can think.” I rubbed my chin some more.
The little girl whispered, “You both should go.”
“I will go.” I dropped my hand from my chin. “But, not before looking around a little.”
The little girl stepped back into the shadows. “I don’t know if you should do that.”
“Why not?”
“You do not belong here.”
I scanned the space. “Emily said she always woke up in the building from Harlem.”
The little girl nodded.
