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Startled, I stiffened.
My breathing increased.
I turned away. “I don’t think I can do this.”
His voice sounded strained. “Do what?”
“Be alone with you.”
He touched the bare skin of my arm with his fingertips. Those feathery strokes triggered a soothing pleasure that swam within me.
I continued to look in another direction, as if not gazing into his eyes would protect me.
The situation was too overwhelming for my mind, emotions, and body. It was what my mother must’ve felt like when she sat in a room full of drinking people, trying her best not to salivate as wine was being poured or reach out for a glass and end her years of sobriety. I’d been so proud of myself. Two whole weeks I’d stayed away from him. But one minute next to him and I was ready to throw that all away for just one kiss.
“I only want these last minutes with you.” He glided his fingers from my shoulders down to the inner area of my palm. “And then I will finally leave you alone.”
I snapped my face to him.
“I won’t interfere with your job hunting. No more phone calls. No more sleeping outside of your apartment, hoping that one day you would come out and let me beg my way back into your life.” He moved his hands to my hair and ran his fingers through my tresses. His voice was low and only a whisper of the dominance he used to have could be heard. Now it passed through his lips with humility and an unassuming edge, like he was thinking through each word before he said it.
“Why would you leave me alone now?”
I’d known one day he would give up. I’d been ready for it, hoping for that moment. And now that it arrived, my heart swelled with a scorching pain I feared would burn through me.
He edged away, avoided staring into my eyes, went to a chair, and pulled it out for me. “You’re even more enchanting when you’re yourself and not when I dress and style you. How stupid I’ve been.”
I stayed frozen in my place. “That’s not an answer.”
Still more petals floated down, almost obscuring my view of him, but I saw him close his eyes and heard a frustrated breath leave his lips.
“Why does it matter to you, Jasmine? You came here tonight for Gabe, dressed sexy and smelling good. And I don’t blame you. He’s what I can’t be. He’s the exact man you should give your heart to.” Chase tapped the edge of the chair with his fingers. “But right now, I have less than thirty minutes to pretend like you came here for me, so I’d rather talk about something else.”
I wish he wouldn’t talk like this. Why do I feel so bad?
I sighed.
“Come here, please,” he said and again it sounded so low and foreign to what I was accustomed to.
“I won’t see you anymore?” My own voice squeaked at the end of the sentence.
Isn’t this what I wanted? For him to give me space so I could get over him?
“Every night I look at your window. The light goes on and off, on and off. The few times I see your silhouette I go mad with insanity and lust.” He combed his fingers through his hair. The petals on top of his head fell to the floor. “You ask me if you’ll see me again like I’m the one who holds that answer.”
He headed my way in slow steps, as if trying not to frighten me. “Do I have a chance?”
“I don’t know.”
“No. You don’t get to bow out with that answer tonight.” He paused right in front of me. “Do I have a chance? Because if I do then tell me and I’ll be outside your apartment tonight and every other night until you’re ready to come outside and see me. But if I don’t, not even a tiny bit, then let me know so I can crawl away with the little dignity I have left.”
My lips quivered.
It all came down to this moment.
Desire and fear merged and twirled into a ball inside my chest. All the days and nights we’d spent together raced through my mind. The things I’d felt for him had never left me. They’d never given me any peace or fled my body. They simply remained inside my heart as if they’d been waiting the whole time for this moment to arrive so they could spill out and saturate my thoughts.
“God help me,” Chase said. “Do I have a chance?”
