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The woman next to her glanced over, but Paige ignored her.
David nodded, and she could see he was ashamed of that, but it was little solace right at the moment, and did nothing to lessen the hurt she was feeling.
“But now I do see that I was kind of blaming you, and I feel like such a dick. And I’m really sorry because I was wrong.”
She barely registered his apology. “What happened to us talking about everything? Did that rule only apply to sexual shit?” The woman next to her glanced over again. “Do you mind?” Paige asked her, before addressing David once more. “You know, if you’d said something that night, we could’ve talked about it then. Or the next day, or even the day after that … not ten freaking days later.”
He looked away from her to stare out the driver’s side window for a few seconds, and when he turned back, his expression was pained. “I know now that I should’ve talked to you right away. However, at the time, I just couldn’t. I was really fucked up by what I was feeling, and I …”
“You what?”
“I didn’t know how to be with you.”
The forced-out words hung in the air with an ugly heaviness. “You didn’t know how to be with me?” she repeated slowly.
“No. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
Paige thought back over the past week and a half but didn’t see any indicators of that. “Well, you hid it very well.”
He cleared his throat. “I didn’t want to push you away, so I, uh …”
Her eyes narrowed as his implication sank in. “Oh, my God. Were you pretending like not a goddamn thing was wrong this whole time? So I wouldn’t know?”
“Uh … yes.”
“When we talked on the phone, and texted? You were … faking it?”
“Kind of. Yes.”
“Jesus Christ. I don’t even know what to say right now.”
The last ten days had been hard for her, and now that she knew what he’d been doing it was almost crushing. It was also humiliating, especially when Paige thought of the gift basket she’d left him, and the time and effort she’d put into it. He’d said he liked it, but now every single communication between them was suspect and couldn’t be believed. Not to mention—
“So, the Sunday you spent with Dick?” she asked coldly. “Were those plans real, or did you make them on purpose? To keep from having to see me on my day off?”
He paused for a long moment. “I could’ve seen him another time. But I just—”
“Yeah, I know. You didn’t know how to be with me.” She took a hefty swig from the drink the bass player had bought her; it was a good thing he had, because she really needed it at the moment. “Well, this really sucks.”
“I’m so fucking sorry,” David said, rubbing at his face. “My mom wasn’t happy with me, either.”
Paige didn’t care that he really did look sorry. “Your mom? Your mom knows about this?”
“Yes. I talked to her about it when I was at her house,” he answered, then gave her a brief rundown of the conversation he’d had with Valerie.
“It really fucking pisses me off that you talked to your mom about what you were feeling before you talked to me—and don’t you dare mention her ‘mom sorcery’. I’m glad she helped you get your shit straightened out or whatever, but really, that should’ve been my job.”
“I know. You’re absolutely right.”
“Remember how unhappy you were with me the night I handcuffed you to the bed?” Paige could see the woman next to her was now openly staring, but didn’t have time to give a shit. “You were upset with me for what, an hour, because I left and you didn’t know what was going on? Try and imagine how upset I am right now, because of all the shit that’s been going on, shit that I didn’t know was happening. This is a problem for me. For us, because trust has been lost.”
“I know.”
She picked up her drink and drank the rest of it. “I’m going to need another one of these,” she muttered, and then signaled Evan.
Evan came over and saw her empty glass. “Need another?”
“Yes, please.”
