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“I never said that—”
“You didn’t have to.” He’s not looking at her anymore. He needs someone to blame, and his eyes are pinned straight on the only logical source in his brain. His brother.
“This is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?” Ben asks. “Well, congratulations. I ruined your life all those years ago, and now you’ve successfully ruined mine.”
“I never wanted this.” Theo shakes his head.
“And I don’t believe you,” Ben seethes. “You never would’ve turned the two people I care about most against me otherwise.”
“Enough.” Theo drags a hand over his face, exhausted. “It’s
only been a few months, and we’re back to the same bullshit. I made my feelings about your relationship with Alice clear from the start, but she made her own decision. I never influenced her. And let me make one more thing clear to you: No part of my relationship with Marcela was to get back at you. You’re the one who chose to see it that way. It was never a game, it was a method of survival. For both of us. That’s how it started, anyway. Anything after that, quite frankly, is none of your goddamned business.”
His chest falls, shoulders sinking in relief. I never realized how much the lie of how we started was weighing on him, but with the truth finally out Theo seems calmer. More assured of himself.
“I came back to San Antonio to be closer to family, but if you’re going to continue blaming me for your own actions, we need to get something straight.” He steps forward. “I’m not gonna take this abuse from you anymore. Any part of it. At this point, we’re only brothers in name. We may as well stay that way.”
“You’re not the martyr you think you are.” Ben grits his teeth. “You can’t put this all on me! You said it yourself—you’ve
only been back for a few months, and my life has imploded because of you!”
Theo lets out a mirthless laugh. “Of course I know I’m no martyr. But I’m not the one who blew up your life. I almost did try to, once,” he admits, looking at his brother head-on. I try to catch his eye, shake my head, anything to silently communicate to him that he doesn’t have to go this far, doesn’t have to be this honest, but he doesn’t so much as spare me a glance. “You don’t know what it looks like for me to ruin your life, and you have Marcela to thank for that.”
Ben’s brows crease, his expression turning wary. He turns to face me. “What is he talking about?”
Alice is looking at me too, the same confusion written on her face as when she asked when Theo slept on my couch. I wonder if she’s piecing together the ways they’re related, even now, waiting for Theo to confess his greatest shame.
“You don’t have to do this.” I take his hand, make him meet my eyes. “It’s already over. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
His gaze is steady as he looks down at me. He gives a slight nod, telling me he’s okay, silently communicating that this is something he needs to do, and that’s when it hits me.
I don’t want to lie anymore.
He wasn’t talking about the relationship we had before, not really. That’s never been a lie, even when I was telling myself it was. This is the lie he meant. The secret he kept from both of them for months.
“I almost told you not to marry my brother,” he says to Alice. “At your engagement party. I didn’t have any right to involve myself in your relationship, and I’m thankful Marcela stopped me. I’m ashamed of myself for the way I acted, but I can’t say there’s much about that night I regret.” He brings our clasped hands to his chest, intertwines our fingers. My chest fills when he looks down at me, eyes soft. “Except for any doubt it made you place in our future. If I could do everything about that night differently and still walk away with you at the end of it, I’d do it this second if it meant being worthy of you.”
I don’t know who looks more shocked, Alice or Ben. Alice keeps blinking at us like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. For a moment, Ben just freezes. I’m not sure what Theo thought he would accomplish by coming clean to his brother, if it was to clear his conscience or any doubt I’m still harboring about our relationship, but whatever the reason can’t be worth the ammo he just put into Ben’s hands.
A derisive clap of his hands and humorless laugh fill the air. He doesn’t look angry anymore.
“Well, isn’t that romantic?” His smile is brutal, and it’s aimed straight at me. “You stopped him from running away with my fiancée, by what? Throwing yourself at him?” Another laugh. “Well, if that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.”
“Ben, don’t—” Alice tries, but it comes out half-hearted. Resigned.
“No, no, they should know what they’re getting themselves into,” he says over her. “Don’t fool yourselves into thinking you can come out of this as something real. You’re smarter than that, Marcela.” He gives me a knowing look, one that’s both familiar and chastising. “He’s gonna hurt you the same way he hurt me. I told you all about that once, didn’t I?”
He did, but he also left out so much. I can understand why Theo needed a clean break from him, at least for a while. He came back eventually. Maybe his return was influenced by Alice at the time, but I wonder if she’s not the only reason after all. If Theo kept coming back, hoping something about his relationship with Ben would change for the better.
“No fiancée, no best friend, no brother. And it all started when he moved back. You really think that’s a coincidence? You’re willing to take that risk?”
I wonder if Ben knows he’s found a way to use my worst fears against me, twist and jab them straight into the center of my chest. But it’s the way he’s warped them to make himself out as the victim that finally pulls me back. Because it all comes back to what he wants.
“No.” I shrug. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I just think it makes you a shitty person.”
“You’re fucking delusional.” He’s called me that before, hasn’t he? He steps backward, grabs his car keys from his jeans pocket, and walks around to the driver’s side. “I’m done. With all of you.” He looks at each of us in turn before shaking his head and hiding away inside his car.
I take a deep breath as his car pulls out of the parking lot, watching as it turns the corner and disappears. Theo isn’t the person his brother thinks he is. I’ve known that all along. That’s not the part of what he’s said that bothers me.
