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“Do you want to stay?” Theo asks, hands rubbing my bare shoulders in comforting strokes. “We can put a movie on Netflix and talk through the whole thing. That’s our usual thing, right?” He lets out a nervous laugh when I don’t respond right away. “Or we can not talk. Your choice, Marce.”
“Um.” I raise myself from his body. “I think I should probably go.”
“Oh.” He doesn’t hide his disappointment, and it almost makes me want to change my mind. But he doesn’t push me, just says, “Sure. Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” I nod, looking away from his eyes as I search for my discarded clothes. Whatever rush of emotion this is, I need to untangle it on my own. “I’ll call you.”
“Marcela.” He reaches for my wrist, pulling me back to him as he sits up on the couch. His hands cup my face, looking up at me. We’re almost eye to eye this way, him sitting and me standing. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“I think I just need a moment. Too many emotions.” My eyes shut tight as I shake my head, not believing I actually admitted that to him.
“I get it. You don’t want to think about Ben,” he says, and for a moment I’m unsure what to say. I wasn’t even thinking about his brother, but I don’t correct him. “Just please don’t disappear on me. Okay?”
I tell him I won’t, and he lets me get dressed. He goes into a room I don’t recognize as I pull on my jeans and sweater, and I’m putting on my shoes when he comes back out in pajama bottoms and a faded Cowboys T-shirt.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asks as we reach the front door, hands circling around my waist like he doesn’t want me to go. I nod, but I don’t even convince myself.
“I will be,” I say instead, my hand cupping his cheek.
When we kiss goodbye, it’s the most chaste of all our kisses. I don’t know if my heart could take it if there was any trace of heat behind it. As it is, the longer we keep this up, the more confused I get about my own feelings. For him. For Ben. Everything I thought I knew twists and changes into something I never saw coming.
Theo. I never saw him coming.
Twenty-Three
The next day doesn’t do much to help my confused, muddled thoughts. After our walk, I finally break down and tell Angela everything when we get back to my apartment. I kind of have to, after our last conversation.
“You think Ben’s wrong?” she asks after I’ve caught her up on my conversation with him, conveniently leaving out our almost kiss. Or at least what I thought was an almost kiss. No need to tell her what I’m not even quite sure of myself. But she gives me a doubtful look now, and it almost makes me reconsider what I believed was true.
“You don’t?”
“To be honest, I don’t really know. I’ve yet to really talk to Theo. You’ve spent more time with him than I have, which is… your business,” she adds slyly, her smirk just as sly. But it falls as she returns to the topic at hand. “I don’t mean to take sides, but I’m not convinced.”
“Okay. That’s fair,” I say. “What if you hung out with him? You can see for yourself and tell me what you think.”
I’m breaking my own boundary rule by suggesting this. But I don’t like that she seems hesitant about Theo’s intentions. If she hung out with him, she’d change her mind. The same way he keeps changing my mind about Ben.
I’m treading on dangerous territory, but I need my best friend to like him. But if I examine the why of it, I’ll lose my nerve.
Her eyes narrow in thought, until finally she says, “Fine. Go ahead and set it up.”
“How ’bout now?” I ask, already putting the phone to my ear. It starts ringing before she can nod. When he answers, I invite him over to meet Angela and he accepts, sounding a bit too excited about the prospect for my liking. “Oh god, this is probably a bad idea after all.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” She’s too smug for her own good.
Theo arrives soon after, eyes searching inside the apartment until he spots Angela. She sits up from the couch and crosses the floor in two strides, holding out her hand. “Angela. We’ve met a couple times.”
“I know,” he says. “You’re the one who scored us free mimosas at brunch a few years ago. I respect someone who can flirt their way to free booze for the entire table. Props.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet,” she gushes, resting a hand over her heart. “I love that that’s what I’m known for!”
“Of course you do.” I let out a sigh. She nudges my elbow teasingly. “Well, how ’bout we eat already?”
They follow me into the kitchen, taking seats at the barstools. When I turn my back to prepare the plates, I hear Angela ask, “So, what exactly are your intentions with my best friend?” I nearly drop the pan, whipping around to point the spatula in her face.
“Don’t answer that,” I tell Theo. “It’s a trap. Just ignore her.”
“We’re each other’s rebound,” Theo answers her, completely ignoring me. Angela cocks her head, assessing the man sitting beside her. “She knows all about my baggage and I know about hers. I know it sounds kinda unhealthy put that way, but rest assured, we’re both being honest with each other. Maybe a little too honest at times.”
