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That was never going to be Theo. We don’t owe each other anything. I’m a means to an end to him, the same way he is to me. For all his talk about not wanting to use me and inability to promise not to catch feelings for me, we’re not in a relationship. I had no right to push him into something he was clearly uncomfortable with. Maybe it’s better that we call it quits now, before we hurt each other later down the line. But the least he can do is be man enough to tell me it’s over to my face.
Friday afternoon, Angela and I spend the day setting up chairs and tables in the YA section, which proves to be a helpful distraction from my ever-consuming thoughts of Theo. Funny how almost an entire month has passed, and now I need a distraction from my distraction. We block off the entrance with shelving carts to set up for tonight’s event. Erica thought balloons would be over the top, but I insisted they give a festive look to the YA shelves. Now I have to wade through a sea of them to find Angela’s whereabouts.
“You good over there?” she asks, not bothering to mask her laughter for my sake.
“Never better.” I readjust my French braids to fall over my shoulders. “How does my hair look? I think the static is making me frizz up.”
“A little bit.” Angela comes over to my side of the table, walking through the bright pink death traps. She looks cozy in a gray cardigan and white capris. The only pops of color in her ensemble are the teal tank top and bejeweled sandals. Only Angela could convince everyone to dress up just to turn around and come up with the most casual costume possible for herself.
She smooths her hands over my scalp, and when that doesn’t work, she retrieves a small bottle of hair serum from her purse. “This ought to do the trick.”
“Not too much. Don’t make me greasy.”
She works her hands over the top of my head with the serum, readjusts my gold folklórico earrings, and then fixes the red poms hanging at the ends of my braids. “That blouse is really cute.”
“Thank you.” I smooth down the ruffles cinching at my waist. The white peasant blouse is detailed with cerulean thread at the neck and sleeves. “You should see the poncho I found at a shop downtown. It matches the preorder art perfectly.”
Unsurprisingly, we didn’t just dress up as our favorite YA characters—we dressed up as our favorite Latina YA characters. Angela’s outfit, casual as it may be, is an identical match to the one Lila Reyes is wearing on the cover of A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow. Once I put on my poncho, I’ll be dressed as Sofia from Before the Dawn, the book we’ll be discussing tonight. It’s a YA fantasy with a Latinx-inspired setting featuring a corrupt political system and a star-crossed romance between two foes on opposing sides. Sofia hates Enrique from the very beginning, but her situation forces her to gain his trust to avenge her family. In the advanced reader’s copy I received of the sequel, As Dusk Breaks, the duology ends with them teaming up to overthrow the corrupt government that killed Sofia’s family and living happily ever after as the kingdom’s new rulers.
We chose our next lineup of books from across a wide range of authors from different backgrounds. San Antonio has a large Mexican American community, but we also serve people from many different communities. We get lots of kids from the neighboring high school who know exactly which books they’re looking for, and the disappointment on their faces when we don’t have what they want sticks in my brain more than the excitement when we do. I’ve made it my mission to buy as many of these books as possible for our collections. I don’t just want more kids to read—I want them to see themselves in the books they’re reading. If I can do anything to help influence that, I’ll fight in any way I can to make it happen.
“Nice.” Angela nods. “So, what do you think? Will the teenagers think we’re total dorks?”
“I’m pretty sure they know we’re total dorks.”
My smile is wide in the reflection in the window behind her. This is my night. In a few hours, the library will fill up with teens excited to read, and extra excited to talk about what they read. I’ve been writing a list in my phone all month of book recommendations to check out before the second book club pick is announced. When I told Angela about it, she said I should publish it on our library’s blog and include the link in the bio of all of our library’s social media accounts. The link went live this morning and we’re going to announce it to the teens at the start of the meeting.
This is my night. I push all thoughts of Theo and his brother out of my mind and focus on making the YA book club go off without a hitch.
The library begins to fill at ten till seven, and seats are already filling faster than we expected. Erica nods approvingly at the table, and then sends me a pleased smile when our eyes meet. Even she decided to dress up with us. Erica is wearing Noemí’s bold red evening gown from the cover of Mexican Gothic. Her hair is pinned into a bob and she’s wearing maroon lipstick to match. The book may not be YA, but I couldn’t be more ecstatic that she decided to dress up.
Angela kicks off the book club by introducing me, Erica, and herself. Then she sits down and opens up her copy of Before the Dawn as I take over leading the discussion questions. I ask everyone to go around the table and share their favorite part of the book. Most answer things like the atmosphere, the magic, and the characters until Andy Sanchez, my favorite library patron, steals my answer.
“I loved the romance,” she says. The fourteen-year-old is tiny, but her personality more than makes up for her prepubescent build. Her brown hair is pulled up in a high bun at the very top of her head, and black square-framed glasses highlight her dark eyes. “Enrique and Sofia? And that kiss at the end— Swoon.” The table erupts into laughter as she fans herself and pretends to faint in her chair.
“That was also my favorite part,” Angela agrees, nodding vigorously. “Love me a good slow-burn romance.”
“Love me a good enemies-to-lovers, slow-burn romance,” I correct to a chorus of murmured agreement. Angela chimes in with something else, but I barely hear her when I catch sight of a blond head over the row of teenagers. A gasp strangles the back of my throat.
Theo is leaning against a wooden bookshelf, hands in the pockets of his jeans. A small smile tugs his lips upward, but his glittering blue eyes are trained on me.
Ignoring him is impossible, but we continue the discussion until it’s time for the small-group activity. I check my phone under the table to see if he tried to get a hold of me. I find two missed calls and one eerily vague text message on my lock screen.
Can we talk?
My stomach drops at the sight of it. Nothing good ever comes after that question. Especially considering he spent over a week avoiding my messages trying to talk. Now he’s tracked me down on a night that was supposed to be special.
Angela tells everyone to break into groups of two to four people, and to find a scene they want to reenact from the book. I can’t prolong the inevitable for much longer.
“I’ll be right back.”
Angela’s eyes catch on Theo’s form hovering over the table of YA staff picks. “Mm-hmm.” There’s a knowing glint in her expression, the edge of her lips forming a smirk. I don’t like the look of it whatsoever, but I choose to ignore it for now as I rise from my seat. Her suspicions are about to be too little too late if my instinct is right.
“What are you doing here?” I try to push him out of view, but he doesn’t budge. When I narrow my eyes at him, he lets me steer him away from the group.
He’s dressed casually in jeans and a plain blue hoodie, hands buried in his pockets. His eyes light up as he looks over my shoulder at the groups of teens dramatically reenacting dialogue from the book, as if preparing for the audition of a lifetime.
“What’s all this?”
