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His smile drops.
The mirth in his eyes is replaced with something headier. Something… darker. Two feet of space separates us, but the temperature in my apartment ratchets up.
He clears his throat, but his voice is thick when he answers. “Asker’s choice.”
I blink once, twice. I’m sure I heard wrong.
“Anyway.” His smile is sheepish as he changes the subject before I can even think to ask him what he means by that. “We should probably talk about what happened. I…” He takes a steadying breath. “Look, I’m grateful to you for you going along with the lie from brunch, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you. We can tell everyone it was just a miscommunication if you want.”
“I think we’re past that.” I smile wryly, though I’m more grateful than I can say that he’s willing to walk back the lie. There’s no explaining away that kiss to Alice and her friends, not in a way that wouldn’t humiliate us both, but the fact that he’s willing to come clean so I don’t feel used is… unexpected. “I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” I nod.
“Okay.” His brows furrow. “Why is that?”
Why is that, indeed.
If I tell him the truth, would he understand? We’re in the same predicament, after all. He’s not nearly as intimidating as I first thought. There’s a softness I hadn’t expected to see in him. A vulnerability I never knew he was capable of. He wouldn’t tell anyone if I shared my secret. He’d hold it close, next to his own secrets. My mouth opens to confess the truth, but the explanation tangles and chokes at the back of my throat.
“I haven’t been kissed like that in a long time,” I admit instead, which is somehow even more embarrassing than my feelings for his brother. I shudder and close my eyes, face heating. “Oh god, that’s—”
“No.” His hand closes over my shoulder. The warmth of it seeps through my shirt and into my skin. “I haven’t either, truthfully.”
I look up at him in disbelief. “Really?”
He laughs at the surprise in my tone. “I’ve been too distracted lately. With leaving the team and figuring out what to do with my life next. With Alice…” He heaves a sigh. “I don’t regret that kiss, but I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“I don’t,” I assure him. “Seriously. You just… reminded me what I’ve been missing.” A flush of heat washes over me. “I’ve never really done the casual thing before. Angela keeps telling me I need to give it a try. She even made me redownload all my old dating apps,” I add quickly.
“Angela.” His eyes narrow in thought. “She’s the one who texted you last night.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “The really skinny one with big, curly hair that looks like it weighs more than she does.”
“Ah.” His eyes light up with recognition. “I remember her now.” He looks at me again, something inexplicable in his eyes. “So… you’re just looking for something casual.”
The way he says it almost makes it a question. An understanding, of sorts.
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Right?” I shrug, ducking away from his eyes.
When I chance a glance at him, he’s much closer than he was before. His body hovers over me, head bent until our faces are inches apart. He nearly has to crouch to manage it. My body is very aware of his, still gloriously shirtless, his forgotten hoodie dangling from a closed fist. When his eyes flick down to my lips, something in the air shifts and becomes supercharged, until we’re two electric currents about to clash together in a burst of sparks.
“Raspberries.” His lips move, but I barely hear the word that crosses them. A hand comes up to smooth my left brow, to smooth the tension formed from furrowing my brows. “You tasted like raspberries last night.”
A gasp, a slow intake of breath, leaves my throat. Has he been thinking about last night as much as I have? A part of me was starting to wonder if I was the only one affected by it. If I’m the only one who wants a repeat of last night. Behind closed doors, without this thing between us being about putting on a show. To almost believe it’s real.
“Marcela.” His hand migrates to the edge of my mouth, thumb trailing below my bottom lip. The nerve endings there buzz to life, until it’s the only inch of skin on my body I’m conscious of. “You need to tell me what to do here. I’m not the one who should start this… for a lot of reasons.”
He’s right, a warning from the back of my mind says. I always thought I wasn’t cut out for casual, based on past failed attempts. But there’s no denying the pull between us. There’s no denying how badly we both want this.
My eyes flick down to his mouth, memories of his pillow-soft lips on mine. “Why? Because you want me to be sure I know what I’m getting into?” It’s a miracle I’m able to keep my voice steady. His eyes close as he nods. I lift myself to my tiptoes, mouth close enough for my lips to graze his ear. “I don’t expect anything from you, Theo. I know what this is.”
He shudders beneath my touch, goosebumps rising on his shoulders. Because of me? Is that the effect I have on him?
“Are you sure?” His voice is a breathy rasp, warm against my flushed cheeks. “Because I’m trying to be a good guy here, Marcela. But you’re making it incredibly difficult for me.”
If this is his way of volleying the power back to me, it’s working. It’s intoxicating. We’re barely touching, but I’ve never been this turned on in my life. Maybe it’s the proof of my effect on him, maybe it’s the anticipation buzzing beneath my skin, but whatever it is, it gives me the courage I need to keep going.
