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“I hadn’t noticed, honestly,” I answer, my brow furrowed.
“No, I doubt you would,” Mei sighs. “You’ve been too worried about everyone else. I just always worried that you weren’t as okay as you let on.”
My mouth parts as her words trigger a memory, remembering Lila saying something very similar the other night.
The world won’t end if you’re okay, Ian. You know that, right?
Have I really been so different these last few years?
“I didn’t mean to be,” I tell her. “I guess it was just…easier. Expect the worst so you can’t ever be let down, right?”
“That’s a horrible way to think,” Mei chides. “Still. Tonight…” She smiles softly. “You seemed more like yourself tonight. The you I remember. You just seem…brighter. Around her.”
I turn my head to catch Lila throwing her hands up, her expression equal parts exasperated and amused as Bella waves her hands around while yammering about whatever point she’s trying to make. I realize that just looking at Lila puts me at ease, makes all the noise in my head quiet and all the worries I’m constantly juggling seem less important—and I wonder if it’s normal to feel this way for someone so quickly, or if our history has somehow paved the way for these feelings. If the protectiveness and the friendship I’ve felt for her all these years were only holding the door for something more. If it was inevitable that I would wind up here.
Mei’s voice interrupts my thoughts again. “Does she know?”
“She does.” I don’t have to ask what she means. “I told her everything.”
“That’s good,” Mei sighs. “That’s really good. How did that go?”
“It went a lot better than I ever expected it would. Lila was…She is amazing.”
“I don’t know why you always expect the worst,” Mei tuts. “None of what happened is your fault. I’ve told you that a thousand times.”
“Yeah, well. Tell that to…pretty much everyone.”
“I tried,” Mei grumbles. “I would have said a lot more if you weren’t so stubborn. I don’t know why you work so hard to protect that bastard just because he’s your father. He doesn’t deserve it.”
Yeah, pretty sure if Mei knew Dad pushed me into leaving, she’d be right behind Lila forming a line to cut off his balls.
“I don’t do it for him,” I remind her.
“I know, know,” she huffs. “I just get so angry thinking about it.”
“That’s because you’re a marshmallow.”
“Shut up,” she scoffs, elbowing me. “I am not.”
Bella plops down on the couch beside her wife, throwing an arm around her neck. “What are we saying about Mei?”
“That she’s a marshmallow,” I tell her.
“Oh,” Bella laughs. “Totally. Might as well put her on a s’more.”
“I’m not a marshmallow!” Mei crosses her arms indignantly over her chest. “I can be a total bitch if I want to be.” She looks to Lila pleadingly. “Dee, tell them I can be a total bitch.”
Lila barks out a laugh as she sinks into the couch cushion at my other side. “Definitely not going to be doing that.”
“Face it,” I say, patting Mei on the shoulder. “You’re soft.”
Mei is still grumbling as Lila’s hand slides over the top of my thigh, the gesture innocent, but the way it makes me feel decidedly less so. “Did you finally come to an agreement?”
“We agreed to disagree,” Lila says, huffing air out of her nostrils. “Since Bella clearly has no taste.”
“Um, excuse me,” Bella quips back, sitting up. “I think I have more insight on who Ms. Swan should have been with. We literally share a name.”
“The entire love story is for Bella and Edward! You can’t argue with canon.”
