AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“But it didn’t?”
“Does it ever? Hiding a part of yourself does nothing but tear you up inside. You can’t really live if you’re only doing it halfway.”
I notice her breath catch when I look at her, her eyes widening. “I…Yeah. That’s true, I guess.”
“It got too hard,” I tell her. “Being together knowing we would never feel that way. I wanted Mei to go out there and find someone she could be in love with, not just love. You know?”
“So when you split…”
“Totally amicable,” I say. “We’re still very good friends. The best, really. I love her new wife.” I grin. “Most days.”
“Wow, that’s…a lot to process.”
“Why is that?”
“It’s just not what I imagined in my head when I thought about your marriage.”
“I’m sure with nothing but those fucking pictures to go off of, it was hard to really come to any other conclusions. I mean, the entire internet is still convinced I was cheating on her the entire time.”
“I never believed that,” she says firmly, slowing her pace. “Never. You would never do something like that. You’re too steady for that.”
“You hadn’t seen me in years at that point,” I mumble. “How could you know that?”
She bites at her lower lip, looking shy all of a sudden, which is very unlike her.
“Because I’ve always seen you,” she says softly, so low I might almost miss it. “Always.”
I swallow thickly, at a loss. “Lila, about the photos, they were actually—”
She shakes her head, cutting me off. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Ian. You don’t owe me that. Not me or anyone else. I know who you are.”
God, I’ve never wanted to spill my guts to someone more than I do at this very moment, but rationally, this probably isn’t the place to reveal all my secrets.
“Thank you,” I say instead, sounding breathless. I feel that way, so I suppose it makes sense.
I tug on her hand, forcing her to stop, just holding it between us. I can’t help but stare at the sight of our clasped hands, waiting for the feeling to hit me that there’s something off about it, that there’s something not quite right, but it never comes. I hold her tighter, pulling her hand to my chest and holding it over my heart as I try to figure out how to tell her what I’m feeling. She looks down at our joined hands, then back up at me with surprise. But then I’m rewarded with her slow, sweet smile, and her fingers give mine a squeeze, and suddenly I realize I’m not looking at her at all like she’s Jack’s little sister, I’m not thinking of her like the girl I adored as a kid—no, right now she’s just…Lila. Lila with her perfect smile and her soft heart and her softer mouth that even now draws my attention.
Which reminds me.
“Lila.”
We’re both still now, just standing in the middle of the rink while God knows what is captured around us.
I watch the delicate line of her throat bob with a swallow, her face tilted up as she looks at me expectantly. “Yeah?”
“Was there really someone?” I can’t take my eyes off her, scanning her face for signs of a truth that I now realize I’m desperate to know. “Someone you used to want. Someone that didn’t see you.”
She takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly before, “I think you know the answer to that.”
My chest swells, and the urge to get closer to her is overwhelming, like a wave pulling me under, and she’s the air.
“And if…” I clear my throat. “If they saw you now? Would it be too late?”
Her lip is trembling, but her eyes…Her eyes are fucking shining.
“I think…you know the answer to that too.”
“I see you, Lila,” I tell her quietly.
