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Hugh
Oh, IDK. Maybe some pride? Maybe a shred of self-protection? Also, we’re not friends anymore, remember? He probably won’t even agree.
Rafa
Bet he will. Bet he misses you—who wouldn’t?—and you’d be doing both of you a favor. And it’ll be on YOUR terms, Hugh. Party date and a little bonus benefit of sex after, then you both return to your lives as if nothing happened.
Hugh
That’s not something I’m capable of doing and I believe you know that.
It would be the equivalent of re-breaking a bone that had only just begun to knit itself together…
Or had begun to contemplate knitting, at least.
Rafa
Which is the lesser evil? Asking him and potentially being slightly more miserable than your current state of miserable afterward? Or being single and alone while Jared and his drummer hang all over each other?
“Fuck,” I groaned, throwing myself onto a nearby park bench. I put my phone down and rubbed my face with both hands. “Fuck!”
The devil on my shoulder spoke in Rafa’s voice. The angel sounded a bit like me during an ugly cry after a particularly bad breakup.
I told myself I was too smart to listen to the devil. Anyone with a brain in their head knew this was a bad idea.
But, dammit, I was tired of doing all the right things to find my happily ever after and having fuck all to show for it but a “current state of miserable.” Maybe Abby was right—maybe holding out for perfection wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. How well was that working out for me, anyhow? So maybe just this once, I could let myself have a little bit of happy right now with the gorgeous man I couldn’t stop thinking about… and let the happily ever after chips fall where they may.
I grabbed my phone again and made a call.
13
OSCAR
When I entered my mom’s Vermont home, I wasn’t surprised to see it bursting at the seams. She’d never been particularly social when I was growing up, but that was more due to her location on an isolated ranch than anything else. Once she’d moved east and married Birch, it had been like watching a flower bloom in the sun.
She thrived on being around people, and she loved every minute of being a stepmother to Birch’s now-grown kids.
“Oscar!” My stepsister Marigold came at me from the side, tackling me around the waist like a pro athlete and nearly knocking me into an overfull coat rack. “Crap, how long’s it been since you showed your face around here? Eons. Absolute forever. You smell good. What is that? Something fancy, I can tell. You’ll have to give me the name so I can get some for Cyan.”
I hugged her back. “You still seeing that car thief? I’d hoped you’d seen the light by now.”
“Pfft. Artists, you know? He likes to go on little adventures for inspiration. It’s part of the process.”
“It’s part of a life of crime,” I shot back. I could feel my lips turn up with the tease. Marigold was a character, and she radiated energetic joy.
“Mom’s in the kitchen. Come on.” She grabbed my arm and started hauling me deeper into the house.
Even though my mom and Birch had been together for over fifteen years, I still hadn’t gotten used to someone other than me calling my mother “Mom.” It was weird. Rationally, I appreciated the idea that they loved her enough to honor her that way. My heart went out to them for losing their own mother so young. And I knew it made my mom very happy. But it made me feel strange. Like I no longer held the closest relationship with the one family member I had.
“There he is!” Birch’s voice carried across the family room as he stood up and set one of the grandkids down. “How was the drive? Run into any weather?”
He reached me in time for me to shoot my hand out for a shake. I’d learned a long time ago that this would preempt his tendency to bear hug.
Birch stared at my hand for a beat before shaking it warmly and patting me on the shoulder with his other hand. “Good to see you, son. We’re really glad you could make it. Hyacinth will be thrilled you’re here for her shower.”
Marigold reached for me again to continue yanking me to the kitchen. “You didn’t bring a date? Good, because I invited that guy I was telling you about from the T-shirt shop in town. Super cute and funny. Plus, he has two dogs, so he’s obviously an animal lover.”
One of Rose’s girls ran up to me and opened my coat pocket, searching for Frank. “Where’s baby Oscar?” she asked.
