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“You may not go now. I have a few questions first.” He took a moment to study me. “How’s Boone?”
The change of topic threw me. “Boone?”
“Yeah, big guy? Rancher in Wyoming? Lover of cattle and my sassy ex-boyfriend?”
“You’re not upset with him for hooking up with Richard, are?—”
His bark of laughter almost made me jump. “Good god, no. I’m happy for them both. And in case you forgot, I’m engaged to be married to the absolute love of my life.”
“Good for you,” I mumbled before taking a sip of coffee too soon. I sputtered and gasped as it burned my tongue.
The edges of his lips curved down. “If only I’d given up after my breakup with Richard.” He affected a giant, melodramatic sigh. “Things would be so much better for me.”
“You’re about as transparent as Scotty’s horse,” I muttered.
“No, no. I mean it. I wouldn’t be at risk for heartache. What if Sawyer leaves me? What if he finds someone better? What if the next person he dates is really his soul mate? What then?”
“Can we be done now?”
He eyed me over his own coffee. “That depends. Do you hear how ridiculous you are?”
“Your opinion is like herpes. You really shouldn’t give it to someone else without asking first.”
He cracked a smile. “Duly noted.” James reached out and took my hand, his expression turning serious.
“Don’t do this,” I pleaded with a wavery sound to my voice.
“I just want you to think about something, okay? Think about what your mom’s life would be like right now if she hadn’t opened herself up to Birch. From what you’ve told me, she loved your father. Very much. But when Birch came around, she allowed herself to love him too. And love him more. They’re so obviously meant to be together, Oscar. And the only reason she was able to find her happy ever after is because she kept her heart open to it.”
I made a neutral noise of acknowledgment in my throat.
He sighed. “Okay, you can go now. The torture is over.”
“For now,” I muttered, shoving my chair back before he could hook it with his foot again.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
I nodded and shoved my emotions down before they spilled out all over the room like more of Chuckie’s fireworks. “Yeah, same.”
He laughed and pulled me in for a tight hug. “Don’t be a stranger. Come back out here and spend more time with us this summer. Promise me.”
Instead of answering him, I pulled back and shot him a smile. “I always knew you couldn’t get enough of me. Now, any idea when the love of your life might hook a man up with some breakfast?”
After hooking me up with some food, James gave me another hug and sent me on my way.
The flight back to the city was a blur, and then I spent the rest of the day keeping as busy as possible. I’d hoped working would be a distraction, but thoughts of Hugh still crept in. While I knew that rationally, James was correct, I also knew that I wasn’t in a place where my heart could handle that kind of risk again. Maybe someday, things would be different, but not now.
Because I’d been the one to cross the line with Hugh. I was the one who needed to get us safely back over it and into the friend zone again.
And that meant resisting the urge to send him ten thousand texts explaining what he already knew and asking if he was okay when I was fairly sure he wasn’t.
I studiously ignored my phone.
I ignored the constant urge to reach out.
I ignored the unrelenting silence that meant no one was reaching out to me.
This was about as effective as ignoring a throbbing toothache, or a migraine, or a heart attack. The harder I tried to ignore it, the more I noticed it, and the more painful it became.
