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Opening my arms for her, I usher her across the center console and onto my lap. She straddles my legs with hers, her chest pressed to mine. Her blue dress gathers up around her hips as she perfectly situates herself on me. My pants are getting real tight right now, but I have a few things I need to say first before things go where I hope they go.
“You know that you and I are always going to be okay, no matter what, right?” I tuck her hair behind her ears, giving me a better visual of her pretty face. The cut on her forehead is now just a small scar, and her eyes are no longer black and bruised, just green and mesmerizing as always.
“I know,” Logan says softly, seeming unconvinced. She wraps her arms around my shoulders before quickly burying her face into the crook of my neck, inhaling a shallow and shaky breath.
Snaking my arms around her back, I gently stroke the length of it, trying to soothe her. I’m the needy one in our relationship, Logan’s strength always shining through, but I realize now that I may have taken advantage of that over the last six weeks, not recognizing that she needs me just as much as I’ve always needed her.
“Baby,” I coo, wanting to look at her. She pulls back so I can see her, and she’s not crying or anything like that, but there is plenty of worry coating her features.
I kiss her pouty lips, the warmth radiating off them. Then I move to each dimple, loving on them both. Then I kiss her nose, cheeks, temple, anything I can really, because I fucking missed this girl, and she missed me.
“I didn’t do a good job of telling you where my head was over the last six weeks,” I begin, my hands engulfing her hips, stroking the cotton fabric that’s bunched there. “I was a fucking mess after the accident, Logan.”
“Eli.” She runs a gentle palm down the side of my face.
“For the first time, I felt some of the hurt you’ve experienced your entire life, and I couldn’t handle any of it. Not even close. I don’t know how you’re so strong after losing both your parents because just the thought of losing you fucking wrecked me.”
Logan’s brows furrow with worry as she keeps her green eyes locked on mine.
“I didn’t want to leave you, Logan, you know that. If you would’ve let me, I would’ve stayed in Minnesota and said, ‘fuck it’ to hockey altogether.”
“I know.”
“But you didn’t,” I remind her. “You made me go, and that was the best thing you could’ve done for me. You always want the best for me. Which is why when I left, I knew I had to do my best for you. I made sure I graduated today because I knew how badly you wanted that for me, and I ended up wanting it too. But everything was for you, Logan. You’ve always been the one to put me back together, to keep us grounded. But I needed to start taking care of myself and not relying on you to always ease my mind. And shockingly, the game I thought I no longer cared about started to heal me. I fell in love with it again.”
I watch as a proud smile slides across Logan’s lips.
“When I was in Texas, all I did was study, play hockey, and go to therapy—”
“You stuck with therapy?” she interrupts, her tone full of hope.
“So much fucking therapy,” I laugh. “I had to get my mind right, and I didn’t know how to do that when all I was thinking about was how much I missed you and how badly I wanted to come home. It took me a bit to accept that we lost the pregnancy.” Logan’s face drops with guilt, so I lift her chin to look at me. “But after working through it and forgiving myself, I started to realize that there was a silver lining. Because now you want to have a family with me—”
“I do, Eli.”
“I know you do. So do I,” I chuckle, leaning in and kissing her smiling lips. “And it helped me relate to you. I’ve never lost someone, but that night of the accident, when I thought I could’ve lost you, I recognized some of what you’ve gone through, and I don’t know that I would’ve ever understood you like I do now.”
Logan cups my face, leaning in and pressing her mouth to mine.
“And the reason I didn’t answer your video calls.” I close my eyes, feeling guilty. “Is because I couldn’t see your face, Logan. I couldn’t see you without wanting to get on the next flight out of Texas. I know that’s a shit excuse, but when I saw you on the phone before my first game, I was flooded with guilt, and I wanted to come home so I could feel better. The more I missed you, the less I could talk to you, because whenever I heard your voice or saw your face, it was like a magnetic pull, needing to bring me back here. But I knew I couldn’t leave Texas until I got a contract.”
I finally look at her, expecting to find her upset with my terrible reasoning, but all I see across Logan’s face is understanding.
“I thought maybe you blamed me for losing the pregnancy,” Logan shyly admits. “That’s why you didn’t want to see me.”
“Oh god, no.” My head falls back. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, I blamed myself. I should’ve told you that, Logan. I should’ve explained myself. But my reasoning sounded like absolute shit when I said it in my head. I should’ve known that you’d understand it. You always understand me.”
“It’s okay, Eli.” She grazes her thumb across my cheek. “Everything is okay now.”
“I did it all for you. Every moment I was down there was for you. For us. For our future together. You were my motivation every day, baby. You always are, and I’m sorry I didn’t know how to explain that.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Eli,” Logan counters, shaking her head. “You did exactly what I wanted you to do. I just missed you, that’s all. And I was afraid that after these last weeks of endless opportunities, that maybe I wouldn’t be enough anymore. That maybe this little life we have together wasn’t enough for you in comparison to the world that’s waiting at your feet.”
“What?” I ask in shock, utterly confused. “Logan, you’re my world. This is my world.” I motion between us. “I couldn’t give two shits about the money, the fans, or the media. The only thing I care about is us and providing for our family. Which is why I’m signing a contract tomorrow.”
“You are?” Logan’s face lights up as I nod in agreement. “Eli, I’m so proud of you. Dallas is lucky to have you back.”
“I’m not signing with Dallas. Minnesota made me an offer, and I’m taking it.”
