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Dropping my hand I force a smile. “I’m great. I was just wondering how we’re going to do our phone calls.”
“I looked into it already. There’s a free app you can use when you’re overseas.”
My heart skips. “You looked it up?”
“Yeah.”
“Because you want to keep up the phone calls?”
“Because I want to keep talking to you, Sam.”
The tone in his voice turned me around and I lay my forehead against the wall, closing my eyes. “That would make me really happy.”
“We promised, didn’t we?”
I don’t have the ability to speak. I felt like I was doing the heavy lifting, always the one to dial him. This little show of how much he cares tears me up inside. In the best way. And maybe the worst, too.
The voices of his roommates get louder as they approach, calling his name and saying things like, “Germany, motherfuckers!” “That’s right, I’m going to get my lederhosen on!” “No shows until Wednesday!” “Let’s light this up!”
Logan laughs, “Sam, I’ve got to go.”
“Yeah Sam, he’s got to go! To Frankfurt! To dance his German-loving ass off!”
“Talk next Monday,” he casually says before hanging up.
I’m standing here with my face against the wall. From where she sits on the couch watching me, Lexi asks, “The show is traveling?”
I turn around, hand dropping to my side as I stare at my big sister. “Yep pretty exciting.”
“You look overjoyed.”
“And happy for him,” I sarcastically add. “I bet I look really happy for Logan.”
She pats the cushion. I trudge over and flop down. “I have worse news.”
Lifting an eyebrow, I ask, “What?”
“I drank your smoothie.” She offers a weak smile at her weak joke. “Are you sorry you didn’t continue on with the production, Sam? Because if it were me, I would be dying right about now.”
I have to think about it. “No, I don’t want to do what he’s doing. Is it weird that I like staying in Atlanta?”
“Maybe. But not everybody wants that flashy lifestyle. Look at Zoe. Can you imagine her with a huge audience staring at her? That would be a nightmare, not a dream. We all have different things that we want, Sam, and I think that’s what makes the world go round. If we all wanted the exact same thing, can you imagine? Chaos. Bloodshed. No more ice cream left anywhere.” I laugh, and she smiles. “But if you don’t want to go on the road with the glamorous production like you always thought that you did, then why do you look so sad? Are you in love with Logan?” Lexi leans forward as if that will help her see into my heart. “Do you even know?”
“I just miss him.” Standing up, I lift my empty glass to carry it into the kitchen. “This is the longest I haven’t seen him. And it’s going to get longer. Isn’t that enough?”
As I walk away I don’t hear her whisper, “Wake up, Sammy.”
