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She didn't allow me to hold her, to say goodbye….
She moves her nose and gently rubs my neck with it where her name is, and whispers, "I thought Prue lost your baby. I didn't want you to hurt more than you already were."
I nod numbly and state, "Prue couldn't get the gender of the baby right after she apparently lost it. Tech finally confirmed who she'd been staying with when she left town, and her aunt told us everything after we offered her 10k. She was never pregnant, Kennedy, and a part of you knew that."
She flinches at me using her name, but I just….
My daughter.
"What was her name?" I whisper after a few minutes.
I feel some tears glide down my neck, and she replies, "Layla Lola Carter."
My tears fall. Named after Shelly and Lola.
She moves from beneath my arm and straddles me, her soft hands gripping my cheeks, and we lock eyes as I grip her hips.
"I…do you hate me?" she asks, and my eyes soften.
Gently, I glide my hands up her back and into her hair, bringing her to me, and forcing her forehead against mine. I rasp, "I don't hate you, baby. I just…." I squeeze my eyes shut, then say, "I need to head out for a little while…."
I can't think straight with her near me. I need a minute.
She flinches but nods, and I whisper, "Where is our daughter?"
She sniffles. "Her urn is in my apartment."
I nod before moving my head, placing my lips to her forehead, and whispering, "Head upstairs for a bath and get some sleep. I'll be back soon."
She nods, concern and worry flowing from her as she stands. I get up and kiss her head again, before walking out without looking back.
I know I hurt her when I gave Prue the cut, when I made her think she was the other woman, but this, not allowing me to say goodbye to my daughter, to hold her…. I don't know how I can forgive her.
My eyes lock with Breakers as I walk into the common room five minutes later, my bike out front. My anger shining through. I was going to just head out for a drive, but…that fucker knew. Brothers cheer seeing me, but Breaker flinches, seeing my pain and anger.
"Brother…."
I shake my head and point at him, stating, "You're no longer my brother," causing the club to quiet in shock. My dad comes toward me with confusion but soon stops with my next words. "You knew, you fucking knew Kennedy gave birth to my daughter, and you didn't say anything."
He flinches as gasps can be heard around the room and he whispers, "She's my…."
I cut him off, shouting,"I don't give a fuck if she's your cousin. My daughter, Alex, my fucking daughter is dead, and I couldn't be there. She tried to fucking kill herself, and I didn't even know."He flinches again, and I show him my pain as I whisper, "I didn't even get to hold her. You helped stop that. You fucking know me; you know the person I am, and you kept me from saying goodbye, and how the fuck would you feel if I gave you the same courtesy, huh, if this was Quinn and I knew, and never told you?"
He lets his tears fall, and I shake my head as I hear a sob. I turn my head and make eye contact with Shelly, my momma, and guilt etches her features, making me chuckle darkly and state, "You knew too, huh?" causing the brothers to look at her in shock, while my dad's head whips her way in horror.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she sobs, but I shake my head and say, "I called you Momma. You basically raised me." I look around the room. I notice Nina smirking, the clubwhores looking at me with glee, thinking I'm now available, while the old ladies try not to cry. I rasp, "I'm fucking done."
I'm officially pushed over the edge.
The brothers all suck in a breath, and I walk past Breaker, who pleads for me to listen, but I don't. Instead, I head to my bike and quickly drive off, Phil only just opens the gate in time as my father shouts for me.
I drive around for about an hour before sitting in front of Kennedy's parents' place. The lights are off, the house seems quiet, and I rasp, "She thinks the footage is on a drive hidden behind the toilet."Snake steps out of the shadows with Smokey and Tech. All three nod, and I say, "You boys have got to work on your sneaking. I could hear you from a mile away."
Someone snorts and Snake rasps, "Please, tell me, brother, that I'm not going to have to sedate your ass to keep you in the club."
This time, I snort, shake my head, and admit, "I've reached my breaking point, Hunter. All the lies and secrecy. I get he is her cousin but what the fuck about me? I’m not just his brother by the cub, I‘m his fucking step-brother. If the roles were reversed, would he just be walking away, or would he put a bullet in me?"I look his way, and he sighs, knowing I'm right, and I continue, "A woman I saw as a mother lied to me. The woman I love with everything in me didn't let me say bye to my daughter because she thought I'd already lost a child when a part of her knew Prue was lying. She just didn't want to face the hurt and pain; she didn't want to hear my side of things because all she fucking cared about was how she felt. I don't know how to get over that."
"By giving it a day at a time. Don't hand in your cut, brother, and don't give up on her, not now,"Tech rasps, and I sniff, trying to control my emotions.
