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I chuckle and say, “You miss my wisdom, huh?"
He grunts, then remarks, "Of course, I miss your wisdom. You got me out of a lot of shit growing up." I laugh before he rasps, "Say hi to my girl, Ken…."
I chuckle, a smile as wide as anything on my face, happy for my cousin, and say, "Hi Quinn, how's that boy of mine doing? Is he as smart as me?"
She says sleepily, "Well, up until a month ago, he was getting in between me and any man that would speak to me, and right before his dad asked me out, he poured paint over a colleague's pants, who then slipped. Then Noah decided to pour the paint the man’s head. He'd asked me out for drinks, and Noah disagreed, but he's definitely smart, maybe Violet smart. With his pranks, though, we need to watch him."
My mouth drops open in shock, absolute shock. I know I should be asking if the teacher is okay, but all I can think of is wanting to give the kid a high five. I laugh hard before rasping, “Oh God, I wish I'd seen it."
Quinn admits, "I have a camera pointing at the classroom door, I'll send you the footage."
I squeal in delight before I get into a conversation with Quinn. My hurt and heartbreak are pushed to the side as we speak about school and how Mr. Arnold, who allowed us to call him Harold, had gone missing. He tried hitting on me at one point and I know for a fact he tried to assault Lola.
I will not feel guilty for what happened to that bastard.
I shudder in revulsion, remembering how he often came around to sleep with my momma.
After about five minutes, I look at the time and yawn. My body is finally drained.
I mutter, "Okay, I'm off. Thank you both for distracting me from my awful day."
"Anything for my favorite cousin," Alex replies. I laugh, happy to let Quinn in on our secret, knowing what this means for him.
I reply, "I'm your only cousin, dumbass. Quinn, we'll talk soon. Send my love to Noah, Alex, and tell him I'll call on Saturday. Love you."
"Alright, will do. Love you, too," he rasps, and I hang up, looking at the urn sitting next to the picture of Doc. Tears fill my eyes. Without taking my gaze off them, I grab the throw from the back of my couch, and lay down.
“I’m sorry, baby girl,” I whisper in the quiet room, before I slowly close my eyes only to see Doc’s forest green ones with the flecks of brown morph into Nick’s dark, lifeless ones. His eyes then morph into my momma’s, then my father’s, and then I drift off into a restless sleep, dreaming of what my little girl would have looked like growing up, all while she swims in Nick’s blood.
13
Doc – Two Months Later
My Dearest Pixie,
It’s been nearly a year since you left, and I know the program is due to end soon.
I’m scared, baby.
Will you come home? Or will you decide to stay in New York?
I mean, I get it—New York is amazing, and the city has a great atmosphere, but do you know what it lacks?
It hasn’t got me, and I know that’s not a great prize in your eyes. I made Prue mine; I gave her my cut, but that’s where you're wrong, baby. The cut is fake; the real one waits for you to wear it. She was never mine, Pixie. It’s always been you. Surely, I’ve proven that to you, Pixie? The phone calls, the stories of when we grew up, and how you were all I saw when you shouldn’t have been looking?
I wish you never followed me that night. I fucking wish you stayed in our bed where you belonged, because then, right about now, you’d have my ring on your finger and our baby growing in your belly, while chasing around our other little boy or girl.
I miss you, Pixie. I miss watching you walk into work. I miss the way you’d smile at the patients, and call me out on my shit. I miss the way your eyes would light up when we spoke, or how your hand would gently lay on my arm at lunch. I miss the calls, even though you never spoke a single word.
Two months of radio silence, and I feel numb, baby.
I don’t know how much longer I can breathe without you.
I love you, Pixie.
Your Lucas x
I drop my pen and lean back in my chair, wincing at the pain in my side but trying to ignore it. I’m breaking. I can feel myself slipping, and I don’t know how to drag myself back up.
