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“Ah baby, please don’t cry…” he whispers before the voices disappear. “Pixie? I’m in my room at the club. Talk to me, baby. What’s happened?” I sob harder, and he sighs, reading me instantly. “Ah, fuck…. You lost a baby, didn’t you?” I start to hiccup, breathing becomes hard, and he growls, “Fuck baby, try and breathe for me. Focus on my voice; I’m here, Pixie. I know it’s hard, but I can bet my license you worked hard on that baby, that you did everything you could.”
Not hard enough, because he didn’t survive.
“I know you, Pixie. You’re beating yourself up, but don’t. You are the most caring person I know, and fuck am I proud of you for following this path.” I take deep breaths, letting his voice soothe me. He takes a deep breath and rasps, “Remember when you were sixteen, and you found out Lola kissed the guy you had a crush on?”
I smile a little. Reid.
I never did like him. The reason I started crying after she kissed him was because I saw a woman kiss this man, the man who owns my heart. He continues, not knowing my thoughts, “When I kissed you near the pond on club property, it wasn’t a pity kiss, baby, just like the one I gave you in the storage closet. You own me, Pixie.”
My heart jumps. I want to believe his words, I do, but I just….
“Baby, everything okay? You just left the party,” Prue says, and I squeeze my eyes tight and quickly hang up, sobs wracking my body.
He’s still with her. How can he say all those things when he’s still with her?
Oh God….
Bile rises in my throat, and I quickly jump up from my couch and run to the bathroom, just making it in time to the toilet before everything I’ve eaten today, which wasn’t a lot, comes up, the retching pulling my insides with pain.
I sob, holding onto the toilet, wishing things were different. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, and God, do I feel so very alone….
Once I know I won’t vomit again, I slowly stand, dizziness pulling me. I take deep breaths, trying to control it, before going to the sink, and washing the vile taste out of my mouth. I head to my living area, and I grab my phone, before lying down on the couch. Several missed calls from Doc make my tears fall, but I ignore them and pull up Alex’s number.
I can feel myself slipping.
He answers after six rings, making me look at the clock, feeling guilty. It’s past eleven at night…. Crap.
"Well, if it isn't the world's best NICU nurse," he says, making me laugh. It's just what I needed.
"Not yet, I'm not," I reply, turning on my side as he hums.
He affirms, "But you will be, so don't doubt yourself, Ken. You're pushing yourself to greatness. I know you're probably tired, but you're doing good, I promise, and the fact they chose you for that course proves how amazing you are."
I sigh. I didn’t realize I’d put myself down like that.
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put myself down, I swear. It's been a hard day," I whisper.
At my words, he sighs. "Talk to me, Kennedy….”
My gaze drifts to the picture of Doc, and I sniffle before admitting, "We lost a preemie today, and it was hard. It's the first baby I've lost since being here, and I guess I just miss home. I miss you and Noah and Lola."
He sighs. "I'm sorry, Ken…it's a tough job, a job I know you can do because you’re fucking awesome, and maybe try giving Lola a call? I know she misses you and is hurt you haven't called. And if you're homesick, I'll pack Noah up and come see you, I'll even bring my girl for you to meet."
I want to call Lola, I really do, but I just can’t allow her to choose between me and her brother. I can’t allow her to make things harder than they are. Though, I would love for him and Noah to visit, I tell him as much.
"I can't call Lola. I refuse to make her choose between me and her brother. I regret telling her about us, and I would love for you and Noah to come here, even just for the weekend, and to meet…." I pause. Did he just say…. "Did you just say you have a woman?"
He hums and admits, "I do. It turns out Noah decided his teacher and I suited each other."
A grin takes over my face as I sit up. Noah did it, he actually did it?
"Oh my God, you and Quinn Sanders, really?" I cry out with hope, causing him to chuckle.
He replies, “Yeah, little cuz. I took one look at her and knew she was supposed to be mine. Tonight, she finally agreed to move out of the casual dating zone and become official, though I do believe I have a fight on my hands to keep her.”
I hum. She was really closed off in highschool,trauma surrounded her, and I tell him as much, stating, “Quinn is amazing. She went to school with Violet, Lola, and me, but she always kept to herself. She was sweet and kind of closed off. I think something happened that traumatized her and caused her not to want to commit to someone; the number of boys she told to get lost was unbelievable. Please don't give up on her, Alex. She'll push you away; I saw it a lot in school. You need to show her that you're willing to fight, unlike everyone else in her life."
"I miss you," he says randomly.
