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Something cracked inside Tori. Was that what they were? Is that all they would ever be?
She wanted so much more with Miranda, but her birthday was creeping up, and if this was all Miranda could ever give her, this maybe friends-with-benefits arrangement, she needed to stop fooling herself. Because that wasn’t what she wanted. It wasn’t what she needed.
“I’ll see you around, Miranda.”
“See you around, Tori.”
Tori didn’t move when she hung up. The phone sat in her lap, and she stared down at it. That hadn’t been what it was supposed to be. Tears brimmed in her eyes as the realization settled into the hollow of her chest.
Soulmates weren’t supposed to make each other crazy, soulmates weren’t supposed to fight to have that connection and promise of happily ever after.
So what were they then? Miranda didn’t think of them as friends, but Tori did. It was normal that certain people picked up friends easier than others. She was one of them, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t had a connection, did it? She was confused. Beyond confused. And it hurt to even begin to think about everything. What they were. What they weren’t. What she wanted them to be.
She still hadn’t managed to ask the question, the one that was clawing its way through her. Tori brushed her cheeks and shook her head. If Miranda wanted nothing more than sex, then that’s what they would be. She could do that. Maybe not beyond tonight, but that’s how she would label it when she looked back on her past. Still…it stung. She needed a good venting session, someone who could listen and set her right.
Tori huffed and picked up the phone again.
“Hey.” Siena’s voice answered on the first ring.
“Hi.” Tori’s voice sounded wrong, even to her own ears. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Of course.” A loud noise, something metal dropping to stone came down the line. “What’s going on?”
“Did you drop something?”
“Just put the pan back down.”
“Oh, I’m interrupting.” Tori rushed the words out, unable to say them fast enough. “I shouldn’t have called, I’m so sorry.”
“Tori, I’m emptying the dishwasher.” Siena’s voice cut through the roar of Tori’s blood. “Now, stop stalling, and tell me what this is about.”
“Miranda.”
twenty-five
“What are you doing here?” Miranda’s shoulders tensed instantly, her stomach dropped, and her heart raced. She hadn’t expected this. Not with the way their last conversation had gone. “I didn’t expect—”
“Rebel left this at daycare.” Tori rushed the words and grimaced. “Aili asked if I could bring it to you.”
“Why would she…?” Miranda’s jaw tightened when she realized what she was saying. Aili thought they were a couple, which would be why she asked Tori to bring Rebel’s most prized stuffy to the house because everyone in this conversation knew that Rebel couldn’t sleep without it. Miranda took the stuffy and clutched it to her chest. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Tori rubbed her hands against her hips. “I guess I’ll just see you around.”
“Where’s Harley?” Miranda asked before she could stop herself.
Tori froze, looking Miranda over for a long time before she dropped her shoulders. “She’s in the car.”
Miranda glanced over her shoulder, finding Rebel sitting at the coffee table with a piece of pizza in her mouth and her eyes glued to the television. She had no idea what made her do it, but when she turned back around, she asked, “Do you want to stay for dinner? I ordered pizza, and Rebel’s watching The Little Mermaid.”
“Harley loves that movie.” Tori smiled, genuinely.
Miranda missed that look. She missed the radiance and warmth that came with it. “Stay. Please.”
She could see the hesitation. And she hated that she was the cause of it. Miranda reached out, wrapping her fingers around Tori’s, tangling them for a brief second before she broke contact. “Rebel misses you.”
“Rebel does?”
Miranda lifted a shoulder slightly and dropped it, not giving a verbal answer. She couldn’t even make those thoughts in her head, let alone say them out loud to the woman in question.
