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“No, I haven’t. Have you?” I ask her, taking the olive branch she’s offering even though I just heard her stomach growling.
“Not yet. I was doing homework when you knocked,” she answers, a soft smile on her face to match the faraway look on her face. “I think Slim and Shy are eating at the clubhouse tonight. So, I was just going to make a sandwich or something simple.”
“Let me take you to the diner. We’ll grab dinner and you can come back and finish your homework. I want to know how school’s been goin’ too,” I tell her, some of the pain I live with daily fading into nothing at the thought of spending time with my Bell.
Bell thinks about it for a minute and stands up. She nods her head and goes inside to grab her wallet. The only time she needs that is when she wants to buy something. She’s not going to let me pay for her meal. Bell is keeping me at arm’s length. I’ll have to work my way back into her trust and life if I want to keep her close. When Bell chooses to cut you out, you are lucky to get a second chance. I’ve seen her cut out one person before and it’s something I never want to experience. She has a way of looking straight through a person and eviscerating their soul until they wish they were dead. And that’s after she cuts you out of her life.
I walk to my bike and grab her helmet out of my saddlebags. It’s never taken off the bike and no one will ever wear it besides her. Annabell’s been the only female to ride with me. Ever. And I don’t want that to ever change. So, I always keep her helmet with my bike in case we randomly decide to go for a ride. While I will always agree with not putting random women on my bike, I feel there are always circumstances where something happens and you have no choice in the matter. For me, I don’t go out of my way to put someone else on my bike and I won’t. That seat belongs to Annabell.
“You’re gonna wear shorts for the ride?” I ask her, knowing she never wears anything but jeans on the bike.
“Yep. If I have the time to change, I can make my own dinner so there’s no point in going with you,” she states, her voice taking on a coldness that I’ve never heard from her before.
Handing over the helmet, I watch her close the straps and wait for me to get on so she can climb on behind me. When she wraps her arms around my waist, there’s still a distance between us. I don’t like it, but I’m not going to force her to do something she doesn’t want to do. Annabell will need time to decide whether or not she wants to let me back in the way I used to be. If she chooses not to, I have no one to blame but myself and I’ll have to figure out a way to be okay with that. She’s had people try to take away her decisions in the past and I refuse to have my name added to that list of people.
The ride to the diner isn’t long enough for my liking. I want to keep Annabell wrapped around me and have her want to be wrapped around me. Instead, she wants to keep the distance between us and I completely understand where she’s coming from. I fucked up and I have to fix it somehow. Still, she was close enough to feel her body heat against my back and feel her arms wrapped around me. She has a way of grounding me and making me feel lighter than ever before that I know I won’t ever find in anyone else.
As soon as we pull into the parking lot of the diner, I stop the bike and Annabell hops off so I can back it into a spot. She takes her helmet off while I make sure my bike won’t get hit. When I shut the engine off, she hands me her helmet and waits for me to get off and hang our helmets on the handlebars. Neither one of us says a word to the other as we let the weight of our thoughts settle in around us.
Walking into the diner, I let her choose where we sit. She heads toward the back and sits with her back to the door. Annabell knows I always have to sit with my back against the wall so I can watch my surroundings. I slide in the booth across from her and we sit in awkward silence until the waitress comes over to take our order. I can’t stand the strain in our relationship and I have no one to blame but myself. This is the first time since I saw Annabell that there’s ever been an awkwardness to us.
“So, um, how’s school goin’?” I finally ask once the waitress is gone.
“It’s great,” she answers, finally becoming animated and like the Annabell I’m used to spending my time with. “I’m graduating early so my schoolwork is crazy, but I love it. And I’m on the cheerleading squad so I have practice and games too. I’ve been busy, but I wouldn’t change it.”
“That’s good news. Why are you graduatin’ early?” I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me because this isn’t something we ever talked about during all of our lengthy conversations.
“I have an early acceptance into college. If I graduate high school in January, I’ll have a little bit of time before I have to leave for the summer semester. Plus, I did extra work online before I started school. Shy and Slim are the only ones who know I’m doing this,” she answers, averting her gaze from mine as a blush stains her cheeks.
“Wow! That’s amazin’ Bell. I’m so proud of you,” I tell her honestly, pride filling me because Annabell doesn’t ever let anything stand in her way of getting what she wants.
She could be completely destroyed on the inside and losing her shit and would still manage to find a way to accomplish every single goal and dream. It’s one of the many things I admire about her.
“Thank you,” she replies, the blush deepening even more as the waitress brings our orders over and leaves without saying a word to us.
We eat our dinner in silence. I have no clue what to say to her anymore. And she has no clue what to say to me since I yelled at her. The only time I’ve seen her animated is when she talked about school and cheerleading. Honestly, I won’t mind watching her jump around and do all the moves those cheerleaders do during a game. I’m not sure if I’d be allowed at a game though. Annabell used to do that shit on some kind of competitive team and I know that’s where you have to pay money to be on the team if you make it. There’s no school involved or anything like that. Her old squad won every competition they ever entered and that tells me all I need to know about her skills and how much she truly loves to cheer. Annabell doesn’t ever waste time doing shit she doesn’t like.
“So, you mind if I come to a game some time?” I ask her, trying to keep the pleading note out of my voice because it will reveal more than what I want it to now.
“No. You can do what you want, Vault,” she answers, pushing her plate to the center of the table. “You’ve always been able to do what you want. I just wish you would’ve told me sooner that I’m nothing more than an annoying girl you feel doesn’t deserve to be around the clubhouse. Yeah, I overheard you tell your brother that the night you yelled at me.”
Pain and shock fill me with her words. I was angry at something Valor said about me going off on Annabell and that’s what came out of my mouth. Instead of taking it out on the man in front of me, I still managed to make it about her because I know she only wants to help me the way I helped her. To know she overheard me breaks my heart even more. Annabell pulls her wallet out of her pocket and pulls out enough money to cover her portion of the check and a tip. I’m not even going to bother telling her I’ll pay for dinner because I know she’ll put up a fight about it. It’s how she is.
I pull out my own money and add it to hers sitting on the table before we make our way back out to my bike. Getting on, I watch as Annabell puts her helmet on and climbs on behind me. She’s still barely holding onto me as we make our way back to her house. Her fingers are holding my cut instead of being wrapped loosely around me. It shows me just how truly hurt she is. The wounds I’ve caused her are deep in her soul and it’s going to take me forever to earn back even an ounce of what we used to have together. When I drop her off at the house, she barely says a word as she hands me her helmet and makes her way inside quick as hell.
Fuck!
Before I can leave Slim’s house, my phone rings and I pull it out to see Savannah’s name on my screen. I’m not sure why she’d be calling me, so I answer the phone.
“’Lo?” I answer, my eyes still on the door where Annabell just disappeared and took a piece of my heart with her.
“Vault, I need your help. Valor’s at the house and he wants to go through your dad’s things. I’m trying to keep him out of his room and he’s about to tear the door off the hinges to get in. Help me,” she says, fear in her voice like I’ve never heard from another woman we rescued that has something going on with my twin brother.
“On my way.”
Hanging up the phone, I race from the compound to make it to Dad’s house. It’s not too far from the compound and I make it there in less than five minutes. When I run in the house, I can hear Valor yelling at Savannah like she’s no better than shit he’s stepped in outside. He’s never once talked to her that way. Right now, he’s treating her the same way I was with Annabell. I don’t know what the fuck happened between the two of them, but this isn’t good. My brother never loses his shit and if he did, it wouldn’t be against a woman. Especially not one he cares about the way he does Savannah.
“Zach, what the fuck?” I yell out, turning his attention toward me.
