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Aeinya, however, shook her head. “I appreciate the offer, but I really don’t want to escape the warmth we have right now. Besides, if I am to show I can be one with my people I should sleep here.”
“Well, if you are staying here, so am I.” I was firm, but I think even she knew it was because I didn’t want to lose the warmth either.
It’s not like I would snuggle with the Boy… my heart skipped a beat as the image of me doing exactly that flooded my mind. Of his arms around me as we lay there, of his warm breath on my face. For what felt like the millionth time that slice of his face permeated my memory, the way his dark stubble lined that strong jaw. The soft, beautiful curve of his lips. The way his neck pulled in powerful muscle.
And the scars.
The scars that ran over his ears and down his neck.
Ears that used to be pointed.
Fae ears. It had been hours since that had been revealed, that all of that had been revealed, and the fear of what he was still hadn’t come. It never would. Because he wasn’t someone to fear.
How could I fear him when I–
“Are you alright, Elara?” Aeinya hissed, moving ever closer so that her legs were intertwined with the absolute bubble of my skirts. “You look like you are about to cry.”
I inhaled in a sound that was more like a hiccup, my face suddenly growing warm.
“I’m– I’m fine. Just thinking about your wedding.” That got her smiling and sighing again.
She snuggled in closer to me.
“I’m so happy you are going to be there. I need you there. Especially if Carry-'' she stopped mid-sentence, her voice choking out as she pursed her lips.
“Aeinya,” I whispered, suddenly realizing that there was someone who could probably be in my place. Someone who should have been by her all day. How had I missed it?
“Where is your Catalyst, Aeinya? Not that I don’t mind sharing warmth with you, but I would think Carry would be here.”
She should be there, they all should. Carry wasn’t the only Catalyst that had been missing either. We had traveled with Batian all day, and there was no sign of his Catalyst. In fact, the only Catalyst I had seen all day was my Uncle Jahn. Even in the courtyard before we had left he was the only one there.
“She…” She dropped her eyes and I tensed, half expecting her to say something worse.
She didn’t say anything more, she lay there, her lips pressed together as she looked around us as though someone was listening in. I wasn’t sure who would be out and about besides the guards, but they were all huddled around fires on the perimeter of camp. Even the Boy was probably fast asleep, grateful for the still carriage.
“She what? What is it?” I whispered as though someone was steps away, listening in.
She exhaled, nostrils flaring.
“Aeinya. Tell me.”
“Alright, but don’t take offense. I know it’s hard for you to talk about this sometimes.” She scooted closer, and I was suddenly worried about what exactly would be hard for me to hear.
“I do not like how you treat your Catalysts.” Her voice was hard, almost angry.
“What do you mean?” Admittedly, I had no idea how we treated our Catalysts. I knew her Catalyst was still allowed to have a name, but beyond that I thought it was all the same. Not having a Catalyst, I wouldn’t know.
“You know Carry can’t use her name anymore, not since we arrived. She is ‘The future Queen’s Catalyst’ now. She had a beau back home, too, but we had to leave him back home because Catalysts in Turin can’t even have relationships.”
I knew the Catalyst had to live different lives, but listening to what Aeinya’s Catalyst lost, it was as though they came from another realm and not simply another part of the Realm.
As though we were all prisoners under Dalyah’s rule.
“That’s not–”
“There’s more.” She cut me off as though I was going to fight her. “All of the Catalysts have to travel the pilgrimage separately. They have these red carriages, big paneled wagons that have no windows. I can’t even have Carry with me, without her my mind is all fuzzy. It’s as though I am lost in a haze.” Her voice caught, her eyes filling with tears as she leaned into me.
Pulling her in, I ran my fingers through the tangles of her hair, the soft sound of her tears against my shoulder. I didn’t know the pain, or at least I thought I didn’t. Until I found my father losing his mind without his Catalyst and felt that panic of seeing the Boy slipping away from me. Then I understood.
