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My eyes narrow. “You couldn’t actually stop me.”
“Let’s not rehash that, please.”
“Do not make me use magic in this.” I try to get around him, but he matches my movements to block me. After several back-and-forth dodges, I swat his shoulder. “You don’t understand.”
“I do understand, and the answer is still no.”
Finally, I duck under his arm to pass him, but he grabs me, spinning me back to face him. “Even if you’re his lover, he does not wish to see you right now.”
The blood drains from my face. Firstly, how does Marcus know? Secondly, Tomas really doesn’t want to see me? Words escape me as I stare at my brother.
“That night you threw Tomas off the tower at Lambridge… You’re still indebted to me for my role in calming Ceanna down, by the way. I didn’t fail to notice you were both gone an awfully long time.”
I run my tongue along the edges of my teeth. “And Tomas confirmed your theory?”
“Not directly.”
“Did you tell Nina?”
“No. Not that any of that matters. The point is, you think I’m keeping you from him because I don’t know the truth about the two of you, when in fact that is the very reason I’m keeping you from him.”
A knot forms in my chest. This is rejection then. Too many thoughts rush through my mind at a time. When I reach for one, what comes out is, “Where’s Jo?” Jo would know the most, and she’s my dearest friend. If everything is being dashed to bits, I need her.
“She’s not available.”
It’s the final blow to shatter me. I always feared my relationship with Tomas would damage my friendship with his sister, and now, it has. She’s never been unavailable for me. What will I be left with if the two people I need most can’t forgive my many mistakes? “All right. I’ll go then.”
Should my feelings about a place be able to shift so quickly?
I arrived as if I was coming home, but I leave a stranger.
Chapter forty-four
The crowd’s roar washes over us. The air buzzes.
I close my eyes, willing it to snap me into the moment. Never have I been less prepared for anything. Not that it matters. Yesterday, I slipped into such pathetic desperation as to reconsider marrying Jamys. He was correct—there are worse fates than marrying a king who adores me. After declaring in no uncertain terms that I would not marry him, though, I’m not sure I could live with myself if I changed my mind again.
A day of emotional turmoil left me exhausted, and now it will be a challenge to muster enough energy and motivation to make it appear I’m trying. At least this will all be over soon. One less thing to deal with will be a welcome change. Mostly…
This could be the last time anyone apart from family sees me in anything other than a dress. Obnoxious though this display may be, the freedom to show what we truly are is invigorating. To be seen as powerful, rather than a delicate, curtsying flower, is an opportunity I may not get again.
Mother’s speech resounds, but the words wash past me. A mass of shrubbery stands before us, split down the middle by brick walls: a maze of greenery for Nina and me and a route less pliable for Rylan. Even the ground in his path is bricked, though he could get through that easily enough.
The pendant Mother describes as representing Alchos weighs against my chest. We must protect the kingdom as we carry it into the future, and so we must traverse this labyrinth while keeping these symbols safe. They aren’t sturdy. This glass globe could shatter easily, like the kingdom. Like anything worth having.
My eyelids flutter to blink back tears. People think the challenge is this trial, but it’s far more difficult to keep myself from looking up at Tomas or even Jamys. Meeting the gaze of either of them would probably break me. To see Jamys’ pain and know my part in causing it would be about as horrible as seeing Tomas unaffected by this situation which constantly adds cracks to my already-crushed heart.
Lost in my thoughts, the commencement of the event comes as a surprise. My brother and sister split away from me, rushing to their respective entrances.
I could simply fly over the top of the maze. It would be—as Nina would no doubt point out—utterly unfair, and it would be contrary to my purposes. Participation in the final trial would be torture. Instead, I run in and am engulfed by greenery. After several turns, I slow my pace, pretending this is a leisurely stroll to clear my mind. It’s certainly more enjoyable than the last trial. I wrap myself in a bubble to muffle the sound of the crowd. Now if only I could make myself invisible.
The next turn takes me to a rough stone wall blocking my path. I turn back and try other options, but those routes go nowhere. I’m meant to get through the rock. A sigh escapes me as I mourn the end of my leisurely stroll. This isn’t terribly complicated, though. I float up to go over the blockade. At the top, water splashes against the shield around me and dissipates. Blocking myself off from the world is coming in handy in more ways than one.
On the other side, I return to my quiet trance. The small, tightly packed leaves around me exhale life-giving air, and I trail my hand along them, my magic drawn to it. My power reaches into the hedges. The border between my magic and Ry’s blurs. Plants are his domain, but they produce air. I close my eyes and sigh—reaching into the fabric of the shrubs without meaning to. Something pulls me, calls to me…
Until a shriek breaks my daze. Nina. I race toward the sound, but our paths don’t cross. I float up over the maze to find smoke rising from a writhing mass of leaves and branches. I drop to the area to find Nina engulfed in green. Every time a burst of flames burns away an offshoot, an arm emerges from the plant only to be wrapped up again. Her yells sound more frustrated by the second.
“Nina, calm down! I’ll help you.” I try to pull away branches, but they’re too hot to touch.
