AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Slowly, the tears start to subside, and I wipe my face, pulling myself back together. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, embarrassment following on the coattails of my complete meltdown.
“Don’t be,” Silvia says, giving me one last squeeze. Then she turns me by my shoulders to finish undoing my dress. “It sounds like you did everything you could,” she adds after a moment’s pause. “Sometimes, relationships are messy, and emotions can cloud people’s judgment. Gleb will come around.”
“Maybe,” I agree, but I’m not so sure. I don’t see how we can survive as a couple if he’s going to doubt my honesty and hold what I said against me. My teeth trap my lower lip as my doubts settle deep inside my stomach. Because he’s not completely wrong. I sat on my secret about Gabby for months—years, if I’m being honest with myself.
Silvia releases the last latches on my corset, but somehow, I don’t feel like I can breathe any easier. My guilt and remorse have me in such an iron grip.
Holding the ribbing against my chest so the heavy dress won’t slip from my shoulders, I turn to look at her. “Thank you,” I say, but I mean it for so many more reasons than just helping me out of my fabric cage.
“Of course,” she says. “I think we still have some extra clothes in here…” She heads to the dresser and pulls out a comfy-looking pair of sleep shorts and an oversized T-shirt. She sets them on top of the bed for me, then turns to give me another kind smile. “Can I get you anything else?”
“A fresh start?” I joke bitterly.
Silvia cocks her head, as if surprised by my response. “What kind of fresh start are you hoping for?” she asks gently.
And I realize that my suggestion could imply I’m ready to pack up and find a new place to live. Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time I ran when things got tough.
But not this time.
Shaking my head, I drop my eyes to the floor. “I just wish I could go back and do things differently. Not make the mistakes I made.”
“What mistakes?”
“Well… if I hadn’t left New York in the first place… If I’d handled things differently with Vinny… If I’d said something about Gabby sooner…” So many ifs. So many wrong turns and choices. Again, I shake my head, feeling the weight of my own inadequacy. “Maybe things could have turned out differently with Gleb.”
When I look up, Silvia’s hazel eyes are soft and filled with empathy. “It’s our choices in life that make us who we are, Mel. And mistakes are only that if you don’t learn from them. No one can expect you to be perfect. I promise you Gleb is far from it. And I can’t imagine he’ll hold those decisions against you, because it’s so clear how much you care.”
“You think?”
Though Silvia’s not five years older than me, she’s so perceptive and maternal, that it astounds me. She represents something between an older sister and a mother to me, and I respect her so immensely. It’s hard not to believe her when she says things will work out, that Gleb won’t judge me for my mistakes.
Or rather, my steep learning curve. Because she’s right. It might be painful, but I’m trying to grow into a more trusting and honest person. Even if it terrifies the hell out of me.
“Give Gleb more credit,” she insists gently. “I know he’s something of an enigma.” A soft laugh escapes her, making me smile. “And it can be scary to open yourself up to a man who has the strength to destroy you.”
The amusement falls from my lips as she strikes right at the heart of the matter. Then Silvia’s eyes flash with a conviction that rocks me to my core.
“But I’ve known Gleb long enough now to see the heart of gold he hides. And while he might not have said much about how he feels, I can see the way he looks at you. If you let him, I think Gleb would be willing to lay the world at your feet.”
Heart hammering against my ribs, I try desperately to keep the surge of hope and longing from overwhelming me. I want to believe her. And I want to see what she sees in Gleb. I want to know that he feels the same way about me as I do for him.
But I’m terrified that I’ve wandered out onto this unstable limb all on my own. And it feels like my footing might drop out from under me at any moment. I’ll be freefalling into the unknown without anyone to catch me.
As if plucking the thought from my head, Silvia asks, “Do you love Gleb?”
The question feels shockingly intimate, and yet, I know she wouldn’t be asking if she didn’t have something important to say.
“Yes,” I murmur around the knot forming in my throat.
She nods, a warm smile gracing her delicate features. “Love can be a powerful force, Mel. If you’re both willing to work for it, you shouldn’t count it out so soon.”
With that, Silvia wishes me a good night, leaving me stunned and alone in my room. And in the silence that follows, I realize that’s the real, underlying question.
Are Gleb and I both still willing to work for our relationship?
35
GLEB
