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I need to tell him. He needs to know the truth.
But just the thought sends my heart into a sprint once more.
What I want more than anything is to just enjoy this moment. Only I can’t. Not with guilt gnawing greedily at my stomach. I’ve put this off for too long. Made too many excuses. And now, it makes my hands sweat to think of how Gleb’s going to react.
Heart lodged thoroughly in my throat, I shift my body, pulling away from Gleb. Turning, I tuck one leg up onto the couch so I can fully face him. And his arm drops with my sudden absence.
Still, he keeps Gabby close against his side as he turns his head to look at me. His expression is as inscrutable as always, his angular features nearly chiseled out of stone. But his eyes hold silent questions that urge me to speak. To say something before it’s too late.
Hell, it might already be.
How’s he supposed to accept the truth when I’ve kept a secret this big?
“I have to tell you something,” I murmur, and the words escape me so quietly, it’s a wonder he can hear them at all.
“Okay,” he agrees, giving me his undivided attention, though Gabby seems too immersed in her TV show to even notice we’re talking.
But as soon as I think about her, I worry that perhaps now’s not the right time. Maybe I shouldn’t say it in front of her. What if she understands what I say, and then Gleb reacts poorly? That could shatter her.
Then again, Gleb’s iron grip on his restraint would probably keep his temper in check. Right? So maybe it’s safer for me to tell him in her presence.
I can’t even believe the thought crosses my mind.
Gleb would never hurt me.
Not physically, anyway.
He might hate the idea of being a father, though. He might turn us out as soon as he knows the truth. Kick us to the curb.
We would be homeless. But at least then, he would know the truth.
And we’d be past all the lies.
Or you could finally push him so far past his limits this time that he snaps.
It would only take him losing control for a second to leave me dead. He’s that lethal.
Stop it, Mel.
The war inside my head battles on as Gleb watches me expectantly. And as the seconds tick by, I know I need to speak. I can see the tension rippling across his shoulders as the silence becomes unbearable.
Still, he doesn’t break it.
Tangling my fingers together, I fidget with them nervously, and I force my lips apart. What if he won’t forgive me for waiting this long to tell him?
“I—” My gaze drops, my speech faltering before I’ve even begun. “W-What I wanted to say was…” Swallowing hard, I try to ignore the roar of my pulse. And I make myself look him in the eye. “It’s—it’s about Gabby,” I murmur, my voice starting to tremble as I cast a glance in her direction.
She still doesn’t seem to register what I’m saying—or even that I said her name.
Releasing the air trapped in my lungs, I try to find the courage to forge on. “About… about h-her—her father. Who he is.”
Dear god, please let me just fucking say it. The pressure in my chest is so intense, I think my heart might just explode.
But the way Gleb stiffens makes cold sweat break out across the nape of my neck. And suddenly, his eyes look guarded.
“Okay?” he says, and the way he draws out the word tells me I’m not imagining things.
“H-He—that is, I—w-well—” For fuck’s sake, pull it together, Mel! “We…” My cheeks flame as I say it for the first time. We. Gleb and I. We made Gabby together.
