AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Silence crackled between them. Amelia felt as though she were being dragged over hot coals. She knew it was breaking all their rules to tell him how she felt, but at the same time, having seen the truth within her heart, she knew she had to be open with him about it.
‘Talking to Mum,’ she started, a little unevenly, ‘about her relationship with Dad, and how they fell in love, got me thinking.’ She hesitated. ‘About us.’
She wasn’t looking directly at Benedetto but she felt him stiffen. The very air around him seemed to throb with tension, but Amelia pushed on regardless, keeping her gaze carefully averted from his face.
‘Mum was saying that she fell in love with Dad slowly, and didn’t even realise it for a long time, until she almost lost him—because of the affair. It was being faced with what she stood to lose that made her face up to how she felt about Dad. And it made me wonder...’ Her voice trailed off, her eyes darting quickly to his face and then away again.
‘Wonder what?’ Benedetto prompted, not moving.
‘The wedding’s tomorrow.’ Her mouth felt so dry, she could hardly speak. ‘Are you still planning to leave afterwards?’
Silence crackled.
‘Sì.’
Amelia’s brow furrowed. ‘Is there no part of you that wants to stay?’
‘What are you really asking, Amelia?’
That was so like Benedetto, to cut right to the chase.
‘The thing is,’ she said, toying with her fingers, ‘I didn’t understand how I felt until recently. I knew you were different, that wanting you physically as I do is new for me, but on the boat it was easy to put what we were doing into a box and contain it. But here, in the real world, it’s different. My feelings for you are different. Or maybe they’re the same and I just understand them better.’
‘Amelia.’ Her name was almost a curse. She could hear his anger. ‘I have told you, from the beginning, what I could offer. And what I couldn’t.’
‘I know.’ She nodded jerkily. ‘But in the beginning, we were two different people.’
‘No.’
‘Yes. You changed me, and I think I’ve changed you. I don’t think you want to walk away from me.’
His jaw tightened. ‘Then you don’t understand me as well as you imagine.’
She ignored the pain whipping through her. ‘After Daniel, I never thought I would trust anyone again. I never thought I would love anyone again. But you showed me, every day we were together, how different you are, how trustworthy and dependable, how reliable and good.’
He shook his head. ‘Even if this is true, that’s not love. You’re just grateful I’m not going to sell your secrets to the highest bidder.’
She recoiled a little at his reductive summation. ‘You knew I was a princess but you’ve always treated me like a woman first, a human being. You’re the first person in my life to do that.’
‘Exactly my point. I’m different, and that’s novel for you, interesting, but it’s not love.’
‘Please stop trying to tell me I don’t feel what I feel.’
‘But you don’t.’ Frustration was evident in his tone. ‘You’ve deluded yourself, maybe because you need the distraction, because you were anxious about coming home, into thinking we’re in the middle of some great romance, but I’ve been telling you all along, it’s not that. It’s sex. Chemistry. And at times, friendship, yes. But not love.’
‘Are you so afraid to let anyone into your heart that you would actually try to tell me I’m imagining this?’ She waved her hand from her chest towards his. His eyes were unreadable; he was totally closed off to her.
‘Amelia.’ Again, he said her name with utter frustration. ‘Don’t do this.’
She flinched. ‘I think you’re scared.’
His throat shifted, but he didn’t answer.
‘You’re running away, just like I did. Well, let’s both stop running, Ben. Let’s stop running together.’
His nostrils flared. ‘You ran away; I’m just getting on with my life.’
‘And you don’t want me in it?’
