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The last time I’d been in a rodeo was in high school, and while I missed the thrill and rush of adrenaline that came from it, I was living something even more thrilling.
Also quite a bit more terrifying.
Chapter 19
BRIAR
Eventually, barrel racing finished and they began clearing the arena, gearing up for the steer wrestlers. Yet Cassidy hadn’t returned. Scanning the crowd around me, I saw no sign of him. Pushing off from the metal bleacher that had turned warm, I slipped the strands of hair out of my belt and excused myself past the strangers seated around me.
Despite my best efforts, my boots clunked heavily down the steps, and I turned to the right, clamoring down the last few stairs.
And my heart plummeted like a stone in a bottomless well.
Cassidy was leaned up against the side of a small, cement building that we’d gotten our food at, talking to two girls. A charming smile spread on his face, as he chuckled at something one of the women said. They were both stunning cowgirls, with felt hats pulled over silky hair that cascaded in waterfall-like waves just past their shoulders—regular lengths. One with brown hair, and one with blonde hair so strikingly bright, it nearly blinded me.
The auburn-haired girl came up to his shoulder, while the other one barely made it to his chest. They had just the right amount of curves in their bodies, highlighted by glittering button-up shirts and sparkly belts.
The blonde tossed a little bit of hair over her shoulder and then reached forward. She brushed some fingers warmly against his arm. My vision turned blurry as he pulled his hands from his pockets and pushed off from the wall. She dropped her touch at his movement.
He hadn’t returned because he was flirting with some girls while on this so-called date with me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. For the second time in a single night, those slimy green fingers of jealousy clawed in my belly. His past was his past, something I thought I could get over, but it was happening right now, right in front of me. Again.
The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stood on end, my nerves telling me someone was watching me. Blinking through the blurry haze of angry tears, my body turned cold, locking sights with Cassidy. Stiff with fear as if the grim reaper was on his way to catch me, I remained unmoving, staring at the very man who had chosen those girls over me.
Cassidy subtly widened his eyes, inconspicuously shifted his arms that were crossed in front of his chest, and beckoned at me with a finger.
He wanted me to come to him? While in the middle of flirting with two girls, he wanted me to come over there. Why? What other purpose would that hold than to hurt my feelings even more?
So, I shook my head no.
Cassidy’s jaw knotted as he looked around the girls. His mouth moved as he said something to them and then stepped away from the building. The two cowgirls scurried along in front of him, keeping him in their sights and blocking his path.
Watching this draped shame heavy on my shoulders. I’d been such a coward when that Laura Marie or whatever her name was had flirted with him in front of me, and I was being a coward now. Even though he’d invited me over, asked for me, my response was to remain in the shadows.
My body already ached with resentment toward the two girls who were receiving attention that I wanted. So, why was I shirking away from a little more pain? If I went over there, if I interrupted whatever conversation was happening, planting myself in the middle of their flirting, it would cause my entire soul to shatter into desolation. But was I not already there?
Standing alone, watching two girls go after a man I really had no claim to but wanted, placed me in a lonesome hole dug by my own hands. At least I could confront Cassidy, make him own the anguish that he was causing to roar in my belly if I went over there. Never before had I been in a relationship or felt this nagging desire to go after someone so boldly as I suddenly did now.
Even if this date, this forwardness between the two of us, were to end the moment we were back at the ranch, going over there would maybe show Cassidy that I wasn’t so set in pushing him away. Show him that I knew why he’d backed off like he had, and while I appreciated it, I didn’t want that anymore.
But he was flirting with some girls while on this date with me. It ignited this irrational anger low in my belly.
I was no coward.
Stomping across the grass, I pushed around a group of people as Cassidy’s grin suddenly widened, and he lifted his chin. Nodding in my direction, the two girls spun around and stared at me. Shock crossed both of their faces as I slowed my rather aggressive march. Wait a second… Then their surprise shifted to frustration, and they spun back around just as I neared, close enough I could hear the auburn-haired girl speak.
“You’re here with her?” she asked.
Cassidy nodded. “Like I’ve said, more times than I’d like to admit, yes. I’m on a date. That’s her. And yes, I asked her, not the other way around,” he answered, his voice firm.
“Why her?” the shorter one replied. His gaze met mine as I stopped just outside the triangle.
“Ain’t it obvious?” He tipped his head, a smile crossing his face, and his eyes crinkled with delight. “She’s beautiful and unlike anyone I’ve ever met, with an attitude to match.” My heart softened immediately. His earlier beckoning hadn’t been to cause me more pain, but to firmly establish that he was here with me. That he was proud of being with me. All of that back and forth that delayed me from joining in this conversation had been caused by my own overthinking. Again. That frustration was my own fault.
Both of the girls glanced back at me as Cassidy pushed between the two of them and closed the rest of the distance between us. “Sorry, Goldie,” he said, not looking back. Reaching my side, he slipped an arm around my shoulders. “I know it’s my past choices that make them act like that around me.” I didn’t shirk away as he gently guided us back to the bleachers.
“I promise I didn’t flirt back,” he added.
I pursed my lips. “Sure didn’t look like it,” I grumbled. Even though I believed him, I wasn’t quite ready to give it up. “That’s twice tonight that some girl’s flirted with you, thinking they could.”
