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“I need you to spell this out for me. Exactly what are you talking about doing?” I force the words from my mouth, which is suddenly dry. I had considered discussing this with James before, but I never thought for a second that he would agree to being turned.
“Dec says there are options. I don’t know what those are other than being turned to a vampire. It’s not something I’ve ever wanted, but it would make me stronger. I would heal faster and have other abilities. Knowing that, it’s hard to argue against it.” James paces the floor as he talks. I can tell that he’s trying to decide if this is something he wants to do.
I don’t want to force him into anything. My heart races as he talks through this option. “Obviously, if I did this, I would ask Dec to turn me. It would take a little while to fully control everything. I understand that. But I think it might be the only way.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I insist. I won’t let him make this decision if he’s hesitant at all. I hold up a hand to stop Luca from whatever he was about to say. “No one is going to force you into anything. We will, however, support your decision.” I hope that doesn’t sound too flippant. I hate the idea of sounding like I don’t care. I need this to be his choice. Otherwise, he may hate me for it later.
“I need to know what you all think about it. This isn’t an easy choice to make, and I don’t want to ruin what we have more by making the wrong decision.” The pain in his voice nearly makes me cry. I want to hold him and ease his mind.
Instead, I meet his gaze and try to comfort him with words. “When you got hurt, I wanted to talk to you about letting Dec change you. But you were unconscious, and when we met in the Fae realm, there wasn’t time. I was busy training and preparing to save you.”
He nods at my explanation, then turns to Luca. “I think it’s a bad idea,” Luca says. “But I will respect your decision either way.”
Orym looks up. “It couldn’t hurt.”
“I agree with Luca. It’s a bad idea, especially this close to the battle.” Ry offers. “That said, I’m behind you if that’s what you want.”
I slap my hands on my thighs. “Well, it looks like we’re all on the same page here. So, it’s up to you. What do you want?”
James stares at me for a minute before answering. “To fix our bond; to be worthy of you; to be more than just a human.”
“Then I guess we should talk to your brother,” I say. The look on his face tells me that he’s not as sure of his decision as he seemed.
twelve
Brotherly Love
JAMES
I’ve made my decision; I should feel better about this. But somehow, it’s not as easy to reconcile as I’d hoped. It’s the right thing to do. It has to be.
Some unseen force brought me to Garnet and made me fall in love with her. If it then rips me away from her because I’m human, that’s not fair. But should I have to change myself completely to be with the woman I love?
I’m struggling with my choice, and definitely hiding it poorly. I can tell from the faces that stare at me as we finish our conversation. “Then I guess we should talk to your brother,” Garnet says.
I nod, then shake my head. “James, you don’t have to do this. No one will judge you either way. It’s completely your decision,” she quickly amends.
“It’s not that. I should talk to Dec alone. I don’t want him to think you guys are forcing me into this. You’re not. This is my decision. Just—wait for me here, okay?” I hold out a hand and she takes it easily. I’m surprised that there’s no hesitation. Instead, what I see in her eyes is the pain I’ve caused her by listening to Amber’s voice echoing my own thoughts.
“Are you sure you don’t need moral support?” Orym asks. It’s the first time one of them has spoken to me in a way that made me feel like they’re on my side. I nod and turn toward the elevator. I don’t know where Dec went off to, but I’ll find him. I lean down and kiss Garnet’s cheek before leaving.
I argue with myself the whole way down to the club. I have to do this—I can’t do this. Back and forth, I go. I don’t know if it’s my own hesitation or Amber’s spell trying to force me to stay away from Garnet. It doesn’t matter. I’ve made my decision.
I find my brother in the stockroom, grabbing liquor bottles to stock the bar. “Dec, can we talk?” I ask, taking a couple of bottles from him and following as he goes to the bar.
“In private?” he responds, understanding that this is bigger than a casual conversation. He nods toward the stockroom, and I follow him back. I’m surprised to find that there is a small private room in the back where we can talk uninterrupted. “What’s up?”
“I need you to turn me,” I blurt out, not bothering to preface it.
“What? Why? No,” he questions, shaking his head.
“It’s the only way I’ll be able to be with Garnet. Please. This is my choice,” I insist, gripping his shoulders and forcing him to look in my eyes so he can tell I’m serious.
“Are you sure? Your reaction to me being turned wasn’t exactly accepting. Have you discussed this with her?”
“I’m sure. I’m sorry I was so hateful when you were turned. Having you is better than not.”
LUCA
