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I’d seen the little baby boy once, on the day of his birth. Maybe now, I understood why. I’d been far too sad about the fact both brothers had managed to move on with their lives while I’d felt as if I would never break free of the thick chains secured by our father. A strange tingling washed over me, the honor of what both he and his wife wanted making me more emotional than I was used to. “I don’t know.”
“Come on, man. We’re moving on,” Creed said. “We need to engage in normal activities.”
Again, the word normal. I had no idea what that entailed any longer.
“Sure,” Styx said. “I know Emily has been dying to bring some presents she bought for Christian. You know how women are.”
When I’d heard what Creed and Bella had named their baby boy, I’d wanted to laugh. It seemed far too… decent for a child brought into a family with our background. Maybe Creed and Styx had the right idea.
Securing a family of our own could provide healing powers, the salvation I’d longed for my entire adult life. However, I knew trying to enjoy cake and laughter, watching presents being opened and drinks being served would bring back horrible memories.
No matter the fact new life had been breathed into our family.
“You need to let go, Easton. If you don’t, you’ll never be happy. In fact, you’ll get to a point where you can’t breathe or think, eat or sleep. All you’ll desire is to turn back the hands of time. Don’t fall into the same horrific abyss Creed and I did. I want more for you. Maybe fate intervened just in time by bringing Sara into your life.” Styx’s voice hadn’t sounded so serious or so full of concern in a very long time.
I knew he was right. “I understand. Maybe that’s why I no longer want to teach. It wasn’t making me happy or removing the ghosts.”
“Only something special, something worth dying for will help you with that. Ultimately, the decision is up to you whether to give into your personal demons or survive. I have every reason not just to survive but to thrive.”
As I fisted my hand, my thoughts drifted to Sara once again, and another slight epiphany swept through me. Yes, I believed in karma, but up until this point only destructive karma. Maybe I’d paid for my sins, doing my time in purgatory. One could hope. “Maybe.”
“Does that mean you’ll come to the christening?” Creed pushed.
I took another deep breath. I felt as if I was standing on some steep precipice. Now or never.
“Yeah, and I’ll bring Sara. You really will like her.” I laughed.
“Whoa. I thought you two were just partners,” Creed mused.
“Very funny. I have plans for when we finish.”
They both feigned gasping and once again, I gave them both my middle finger. It was good to joke around with them for a change.
“I already told Creed she was perfect for you.” Styx was genuinely happy. Another cathartic moment. Who knew it was possible in our broken family? “Why wait?”
“Because that’s what she wants.” When they both lifted their eyebrows, glancing at each other, I huffed. “What? Say it.”
“You’re allowing a woman to dictate your love life?” Styx teased.
“She’s right. If we’re going to get this book done in the time allotted, then my decision to tame her will need to wait.”
Creed coughed. “Tame? You want her to surrender to your needs. I like it. I think our baby brother is finally on his way to growing up. I think the truth is that she’s taming you. Perfect.”
“Fuck both of you.”
Another word I’d already abused. Perfect. I allowed myself to become lost in the thought of having a family of my own. Styx had been right in that I’d wanted to have a normal family more than the two of them. All because I could still hear my mother whispering in my mind and in my dreams.
As Creed mentioned the location of the reporter, my thoughts remained firmly on the girl who, while hungering to learn more about the darkness, didn’t need that kind of burden in her life.
Now I just had to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my epiphany. Another word that was getting its usage today.
Shit, I’d left her with instructions of what to accomplish prior to when I got home like any good employer would do. We’d write. We’d outline. We’d delve further into the wacked mind of my character.
After that I’d planned on fucking her again. Or maybe before.
Or both.
What the hell.
