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‘Do you know, since Casper died, I realise that over the years I’ve forgotten how to enjoy myself.’
Yes, that was probably true. Parties at their house had been few and far between, and they were always rather sedate events, as though Casper was unable to relax and let the mask down. He had always been on his guard, rather formal, and always very smartly dressed. It was impossible to imagine him behaving like Eddy; tumbling off a ladder when he was cleaning out the gutters, digging in the garden, getting muddy or falling over face-first into a tray of paint.
I grinned at the memory and then put my arm around her shoulders and hugged her.
‘It’s never too late to start again. Now then, should we knock or just go in?’
‘Ah there you are. If I didn’t know better, I would think you were hiding from me, bless your heart.’
We looked round and there was Dick Dainty.
‘I’ve come to crave a boon,’ he said.
We both looked blank.
Did he spend his days scurrying around the ship looking for us, or had he actually planted that tracking device on us? I would turn out our handbags later and check. I know what tracking devices look like; I’ve seen all the episodes of NCIS.
Dick nodded enthusiastically. ‘I can’t tell you what a fantastic response we had to your little chat the other day. I’ve had so many people come up to me, asking about you.’
‘That’s nice,’ Diana said.
I wondered where this was going.
‘Crew members too, wanting to hear more about Captain Wedderburn and your travels with him. He was such a fine man, you knew where you stood with him. No messing about, if he thought you were slacking, he would tell you.’
‘Yes, I know. You should have tried living with him when he was home on leave.’
This was surprising. I had never heard Diana voice any criticism of Casper, implied or otherwise, before this holiday.
‘And the cruise director has asked me to ask if you would do another talk. Or perhaps two. But this time in one of the conference rooms on deck 3. I’d be there, of course, to hold your hand and feed you some questions. It would be such fun. Perhaps you could tell us what you got up to. Funny stories, little anecdotes.’
Diana drew in a deep breath. ‘I don’t think I could, honestly I’m not used to public speaking.’
Dick tightened his lips in worry and shook his head.
‘I’ll be honest, we are in a bit of a fix. I’m throwing myself on your mercy. We had another speaker lined up to give two talks on maritime history. Including a talk on the Bermuda Triangle. People are endlessly fascinated by that, aren’t they? I remember hearing Captain Wedderburn giving an excellent talk on the Bermuda Triangle.’
Diana and I exchanged a knowing glance, the truth of who had prepared those talks was out there now.
‘Diana knows everything about that,’ I said, ‘she was telling me the other day about the electromagnetic storms. And the increased magnetism from the volcanic flow causing problems.’
‘Is that right? Well, that’s marvellous. And our missing guest speaker also knows a lot about the Titanic. Passengers can’t get enough of it. Don’t ask me why, I would have thought it was a topic to avoid when you are in the middle of the ocean. Still, I remember watching Snakes on a Plane on a flight back from South Africa. I had my feet up off the floor for most of the way,’ he chuckled.
‘I can see why,’ I agreed.
‘Well, Terry Baker-Engels is a very popular speaker, and he was due to join the ship in Cadiz. But unfortunately, we’ve just heard he has shingles. Nasty thing, shingles. My old mother used you say if you got it in the same month you were born and if it joined up round your back it was fatal. But then she said when the dog ate grass it was a sign of rain. So I think we can take her sayings with a pinch of salt. Anyway. The thing is we need a replacement speaker, and here you are. Just like it’s fate. A little chat, half an hour. Forty-five minutes tops. And people are so keen to hear more from you. I had two hundred and fifty-seven messages in an hour after our Dick’s Diary talk finished, which is a record. And since then, people have been coming up to me. Dick, they say, we don’t want to hear about the stabilising pods, or the water filtration system, we want to hear more from Mrs Wedderburn. So where does that leave me? Up custard creek without a spoon unless you say yes.’
He sent Diana a pleading look.
‘Well…’
‘That’s the spirit. Right, I am going to give the captain the good news and I’ll be in touch about where and when. We’ll need you to get there a bit early to do a sound check, and if you have any relevant pictures of yourself and the captain the techy wizards can project them onto the screen for you. Do you have any?’
Diana nodded. ‘Yes, I have hundreds.’
He might have been surprised if he knew Diana also had all her research notes and Casper’s talks on her laptop.
‘Marvellous. You won’t have to do a thing. Just be yourself, I’ll introduce you and you just fire away with some fun facts and information. Okay? Splendid. Bless your heart, you’re a lifesaver.’
