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“I love the way your ass jiggles when I’m in this pussy,” he murmured. “Your body is so fucking beautiful, so perfect. I need it. I need you.”
Tightly shutting my eyes, I tried to think of a response, but my brain had shut down. My body rocked in rhythm with his thrusts, my feet fighting to stay planted.
Moving faster and diving deeper, he began to chant, “I just wanna protect you. That’s it. I just wanna protect you. You’re mine. You’re mine. You’re mine…”
As the pressure and whirring feeling inside me crawled to a crest, I bit my tongue, letting out a restrained roaring sound as my core exploded and pulsed, my hands clawing at the Camaro’s hood, and then I felt him release, his dick pumping inside me, his hands sliding under my shirt and clutching the sides of my back, his words silenced and replaced by choking sobs.
“She was dead when we got there. Looks like suicide,” Ray said. After our garage session, we’d managed to stumble into the living room. I was now sitting on the couch. He was lying with his head on my lap.
I rubbed a hand over the coarse, closely cropped hair on his head. “And you’re upset because you wanted to kill her?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“This isn’t a bad thing, though. I’m honestly relieved you didn’t do it.”
“I know you are.”
“But?”
He didn’t reply.
“Ray, I love you no matter what. You do understand that, right?”
“Yeah, baby. Same.”
“And I want you to know I also understand that your job and this life you’ve built around it is part of you. If you want to quit, fine. If you don’t, if this is something you need, I might not particularly like it, but I do get it. I won’t judge you for it. Ever. I just…I want you to be safe.”
His head left my lap, and his arms entwined me, pulling me into his hard body. “I appreciate that. I…I feel like I failed you, though. That woman was mentally unstable, had harmed herself before, and I never saw suicide as a possibility. I feel stupid.”
“Don’t. There was no way you could know she’d pick this day to do it, and you didn’t fail me. You’ve been saving my life since before I knew you. You’re my hero. Always.”
He kissed me and murmured, “Well, at least it’s over now.”
“It’s over. Wow, it’s really over. I can’t believe it. I’ve been so scared and worried. I just…I’m glad. I’m so glad,” I rambled, instantly dissolving into tears.
He squeezed me to him, wordlessly rubbing a hand up and down my back, and when the fountain finally dried, he released me, holding my face in his big hands.
“I love you, Lilith Nation. I love you more than I can ever show you,” he confessed.
“Oh, Ray…you show me every second of every day, and I love you with everything in me. I always will,” I replied.
We kissed again and were well on our way to another round of lovemaking when a cry broke us apart. One glance at the baby monitor connected to my cell told us our princess was awake, and she was mad as hell about it.
36
Ten months later…
Initially, I worried about what life with Ray would be like without a dagger hanging over my head, without the stress and fear and constant flow of adrenaline attached to our relationship. Would he still want me? Would he grow bored without the sense of impending doom? Would he still want a family, a baby, a wife? Well, my husband quickly proved me to be foolish for worrying. Nothing changed. Well, almost nothing. Ray remained unchanged. He was still mean, still a little insane, and still hyper-vigilant when it came to the safety of his family. Although he now felt okay with me leaving the house without him sometimes, he still wasn’t comfortable with me leaving alone. I now had a very capable female bodyguard—Lore—who accompanied me outside the house when Ray didn’t, and my boutique was doing so well I’d hired four more associates.
Today was my little girl’s first birthday, and all I could do was smile at the people gathered in our home to celebrate—my sisters, my father, Denita and Pauline, Justice, a few of my old friends, the twins, and Valentina. Ray held Blaze in his lap as she tore into gifts, more interested in the wrapping paper and shiny bags than the actual toys and clothes inside, her little forehead creased with concentration and her signature frown. She looked beautiful in a pale blue dress with matching bows in her wild natural hair. She was a daddy’s girl for sure, apropos since her daddy was completely obsessed with her.
When I made the mistake of shifting my body where I sat on the sofa, Ray’s head snapped up, his eyes locked on me as if he had some special radar, mouthing, “You good?” All eyes were on Blaze, and I appreciated his subtlety as not to put a spotlight on me.
Nodding, I placed a hand on my growing belly and gave him my best smile. This pregnancy had started out rocky with severe nausea and fatigue besieging me, but five months in, I was feeling great. I was just feeling a little restless. That had been the case a lot lately. Evidently, this baby liked for me to stay moving. Ray stared at me for a minute before returning his attention to our daughter, who was attempting to leave his lap to grab another gift. She’d only been walking for a month but seemed to think she was a damn acrobat already.
“Hey, you good?” Memphis asked, her voice just above a whisper.
I looked to my left where she sat beside me, offering her a smile. “All good.”
