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He shrugged. “She’s got guns.”
“I’ll be fine. Go…clean some guns or something,” I said.
Rolling his eyes, he kissed my cheek and left us, walking backwards.
Once inside the nursery, I rubbed my huge belly and plopped down in the rocking chair that sat next to the crib.
“So, what do you think, big sis? It’s beautiful, right?” I queried.
“It’s gorgeous, Lil, but why is everything white? The toys, the décor, the chair you’re sitting in…everything!” Memphis observed.
“Because my paranoid husband wants to be able to easily see if a bug is in here. He says if a bug bites his baby, he’s going to shoot it.”
“Lilith, I know you’re an adult, and I know we’ve discussed this before, but what the fuck are you doing with Ray ‘crazy as hell’ Nation?”
I frowned, glancing down at my swollen feet. “I love him.”
“Forgive me for not understanding, but how? And why? Didn’t you say he bullied you? That pissed me off when you said it, but I didn’t want to upset you by killing him.”
“Um, thanks?”
“It’s the least I can do for my sister.”
“Right, so…honestly, I didn’t get it either. I didn’t understand how I could co-exist with a person like him in the beginning or how I could sleep knowing he was watching me. He’s attractive, no one can deny that, so his looks were definitely a part of it. I…I honestly think I like his darkness, the danger he represents. I think maybe he awakened something in me that I didn’t realize was there. It’s not an excuse for his insanity. Rather, it’s an explanation for mine. Does that make sense?”
“You’re saying you’re attracted to all of him, especially the bad? The bad turns you on?”
I gave her a sheepish look. “I think so. I…he’s exciting. Before he pushed his way into my life, it was bland. It’s very seasoned now, and the sex? Oh. My. God!”
“Okay, enough of that because ew! But I get what you’re saying. I’ve experienced it before. It’s their power, the fact that they don’t give a damn. And to see them being as bad as they can be? To witness them crossing all the damn lines? Damn! Men like that are so raw and real. They’re delicious, and they’re addictive.”
“That’s it! That is exactly it! All of that!”
“Girl, it’s something else to fall for that type of man.”
“It is. So…where’s your Ray?”
“Humph,” Memphis grunted. “He’s still around. He’s just not as kind to me as Ray is to you. Look, I talk a lot of shit about your man, but during the time I spent training him, we grew close, and I saw him as a brother. I still do, but I just can’t stand him.”
“Why? I mean, yes, he’s mean, but so are you. You two are actually a lot alike.”
“And that’s exactly why I hate him.”
30
“Horacio is out. I ain’t afflicting my son with that name,” I said as I rubbed her legs. She looked so tired as she reclined on the opposite end of the couch from me with her feet in my lap.
“You don’t want a Junior if it’s a boy?” she asked.
“I would if my name wasn’t Horacio. Shit’s whack. Probably why I’m fucked up.”
“You were teased?”
I gave her a smirk. “You think I let someone tease me, baby?”
“Never mind.”
“Uh-huh. Anyway, I want my kid to have a name that lets people know they ain’t to be fucked with. Something like Knife or Glock.”
