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Now she was frowning. “All of a sudden, you’re worried about my comfort?”
I threw up my hands. “Got damn! A nigga tries to be civilized and your ass gotta challenge it! You want the baby or not? Fuck!”
She nodded. “I do, but I don’t wanna have to raise it alone or take it to visit you in jail.”
“I ain’t never going to no jail. Believe that. I’ll off the whole judicial system first.”
“Uh…”
I bent down and kissed her belly through her shirt. “That’s my little killer in there,” I cooed.
Through a sniffle, she mumbled, “Wow.”
The first night I noticed it happening ended up being the first night we had sex. After that, he was in between my legs so much I was too tired to notice if he was still doing it—sneaking away to talk on the phone, I mean. I’d always been a rather heavy sleeper. Add to that the regular demolition of my walls and I spent most nights basically comatose. But in this house that was so big and open and quiet with none of the street noises I’d grown accustomed to, I found it hard to even fall asleep. Sleeping through the night had become an unattainable fantasy.
So, I felt him when he slipped his fingers from me and left the bed, or I instantly knew when the warmth of his body against mine ceased. Night after night, I’d lay in that big bed in that big bedroom and stare at the ceiling until he returned, so relieved that he’d come back that I didn’t question him. Maybe it was the hormones or my increasingly desperate need for him, but I just didn’t want to rock the boat. As much as a part of me despised how he could be, a greater part of me craved him like a drug addict, sociopathic flaws and all.
One night, my bladder began to complain as I awaited his return from wherever he was. So, I crept to the en-suite, and as I made my way back to bed, I decided to look for him. I was geriatric in terms of a pregnancy, and I was scared of all the possible complications. I just really needed him near me. I also needed him to understand that.
My ankle was good, so my trek was painless at least in the physical sense, but I found myself shedding tears as I moved from room to room to find no Ray. Had he left me alone in that big house?
My phone was in my hand, and just as I was about to call him, I spotted him through the kitchen window sitting at the outdoor dining table. The back door was slightly ajar so I could hear him talking on the phone. I knew he had it on speaker because I could hear another voice, another familiar voice.
My hand began to tremble, and my heart rate quadrupled as I burst out the back door shrieking, “You’ve been leaving our bed to sneak and talk to my sister?! Are you fucking her?!”
I jumped up, turning to see a hysterical Lilith standing there in an open robe, her naked body making me salivate. She was shaking, tears racing down her face.
Shit.
Fuck.
Damn-it!
“Lil—” I tried, but she cut me off.
“All this, ‘I love you’ and ‘you’re mine’ shit, that’s all been a sick-ass game to you?!” she yelled.
“No! Look, you gotta calm down. You gon’ fuck my baby up or something!” I yelled back.
“Baby! You got my sister pregnant?!” Memphis’s voice shrieked from my phone.
“Yes, bitch! I’m pregnant, but not for long! You can have this stupid-ass nigga!” Lilith ranted.
“Hold up a minute. You ain’t doing a got damn thing to our baby. You gotta calm the fuck down, woman. Shit! I ain’t fucking Memphis. I hate her ass,” I said.
“And I hate him! He’s a fucking sociopath. I don’t know how you could fuck him!” Memphis interjected, her voice sounding tiny through my phone’s speakers.
“Takes one to know one, you damn parasite!” I yelled at Memphis.
Lilith threw her hands up, dropping them with a smack against her thighs. “Right, ‘cause I’m so damn idiotic; you two think I’ll believe anything. It makes perfect sense for two people who hate each other to sneak around behind my back and talk on the phone. Two people I fucking love, at that! What y’all been doing? Buddy reading a rom-com novel? Trading recipes? Discussing the Bible? Fuck you!” Lilith’s voice was getting shriller and shriller. “Fuck both of you!”
“Lilith, baby, when the time is right, I will explain this shit to you. For now, just know that we are not fucking. We’ve been discussing…business.”
“What business? Memphis is a got damn esthetician. She does facials and shit. She don’t own no real estate. Now you’re just insulting my intelligence! I…” Her voice drifted off and then she just started screaming. I mean, she screamed and screamed before she crumpled to the stone patio and bawled.
“Baby, fuck!” I said as I joined her on the patio. I tried to touch her, but she hit me, slapped the shit out of me. Memphis was saying something. I wasn’t sure what, and I wasn’t trying to figure it out.
I managed to get a grasp on Lilith’s arms after she punched me on the side of my head. “For all the shit I’ve done, how fucked up I’ve been with you, I’ve never hit you. This is your third time hitting me, Lilith, and I need you to make it your last. I love you. I ain’t fucking nobody but you. I promise you that,” I said.
