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I left her in my office, snatched my keys from the table in the foyer, and waved Rell off once I got outside, hopping in my Escalade and leaving.
*****
A week after I last saw Renee, I was doing okay. I mean, I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t miss her, because I did, but I could deal with the door to us being closed permanently better than I could deal with never knowing when she’d decide to leave me.
That shit was just too much for me.
I probably would have missed her less if she’d taken her stuff with her when she left, but my closet was still full of her clothes. The counter in my bathroom was still crowded with her hair products and curling irons. Her toothbrush was still in the holder next to mine. My sheets smelled like her, and the mattress smelled like her when I snatched the sheets off of it. Her coffee mug with the words black nurse magic was still sitting on the counter next to my coffee maker. She was gone, but not really. Her presence was everywhere. And I have to admit, that was getting to me more than a little bit, so I grabbed some suitcases and packed her stuff up. What I couldn’t fit in the suitcases, I put in boxes, and when I was done, I texted Rell and asked him to come in the house.
He stepped into my office with raised eyebrows.
“Hey, man, come in here with me. I need you to take care of something for me.”
He followed me into the living room where I’d stacked up the suitcases and boxes.
“I need you to take this stuff to Renee. I think she’s at her mother’s house. I’ll text you the address.”
Rell just stood there and looked at me.
“Did you hear me, Rell?”
He nodded.
“Then why are you just standing there looking at me and shit? I need this done ASAP!”
“Because I’m not doing it,” Rell said.
Silence filled the room. Was I losing my damn mind?
“I got your back, Zo, and you know it. You’ve always been there for me and my family. Ain’t nothing I won’t do for you, but this? This is wrong, and I’m not doing it.”
“Uh—”
“You love her. She loves you, and you need to get over yourself and fix this whole fear of losing people thing you have. You need to get over your abandonment issues. She was upset and she left, and then she came back. But all you can see is the fact that she left. People get mad, people leave, but people also come back! You’re fixated on the leaving part, and you’re only looking at half the picture. So, I’m not doing that. I’m not taking that stuff to her, because someone has to save you from your own damn self!”
“Nigga…you can talk?” I asked.
“Yeah, but I don’t usually have to. I know how to get my point across without words. And I don’t really like talking because my brother was always telling me to keep my mouth shut about all the stupid shit he was doing, the same shit that got him killed. But this shit you’re trying to do? The way you’re trying to dismiss Renee, erase her? This requires me to speak. Do you know she’s a mess? Janine said she walks around work all puffy-eyed, doesn’t smile. Is that really what you want for her?”
“No, man. I love her. I don’t want her to hurt, but—”
“Then stop this! Unpack her stuff and go make things right! Apologize!” He turned to leave, and then stopped and spun back around. “Oh, and she’s not staying at her mom’s. Janine says she’s staying with her sister, Angie. Let me know when you’re ready to go and I’ll see if I can get her address from Janine.”
“I didn’t say I was going anywhere.”
“If your ass has an ounce of sense, you are. You really gonna let her get away? You gonna let her get over you and go find someone else to be with?”
I sat my miserable ass there for thirty minutes before dragging Renee’s stuff back upstairs and unpacking it, wondering all the while if I’d hallucinated that conversation with Rell. I’d known him since he was literally like twelve years old and I’d never heard him mumble a word, but this dude had just spoken with more wisdom than I had in years. Shit, he kept me from seriously screwing things up with Renee. He was right. I loved her, would lose my complete mind if I ever saw her with another man. And yeah, my ass really did need to get over my anxiety when it came to losing people.
After I finally put her stuff where it belonged, down to the mug on the kitchen counter, I stepped outside to see Rell leaning on my Maybach. “You get her sister’s address from Janine?”
He nodded, and as he opened one of the back doors for me, both of us turned toward the sound of a car pulling in front of my house. Renee’s car. I looked at Rell who shrugged. “She knows the gate code,” he said.
He spoke again. Maybe I wasn’t losing it.
I watched her step out of her car, and I trotted over to her. “Renee!”
She kept walking, stopping at the front door and looking back where I stood right behind her. “I’m just here to get my stuff and leave your ring. Won’t take me long. Can you have Rell get those boxes out of my trunk?” She spoke so softly, I could barely hear her.
