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“So you think he’d go so far as to pretend to apologize to you? How would that help him get your mom back?”
“The first thing he asked me to do was talk to Mama on his behalf, ask her to take him back. I refused, so I think he’s trying to butter me up, get me on his side so I’ll help.”
He took a bite of bacon and shook his head. “If that’s what he’s doing, then it’s extremely fucked up, but I don’t know, Angie. I’d give anything for my dad to apologize to me or at least act like he’s sorry for the shit he put me through.”
“You ever go visit him or talk to him?”
“Hell, no. I avoid his ass at all costs.”
“What about your brother?”
He sighed. “Ang…I had to cut him off. I tried to be there for him, put money on his books and stuff, help him when he’d get out, but it’s like he wants to be in there. He’ll get out and be right back there in a month. Last time he got arrested, it was for driving a car. At least that’s the story he told me, that someone asked him to drive a car across state lines, all the way to Atlanta from Louisiana. Said they paid him $6000 to drive a car, and this ignorant nigga didn’t think maybe there were some drugs in it, didn’t even check the trunk. Now he’s locked up on federal drug charges. I can’t deal with that shit anymore. Makes my head hurt to think about him and my father.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It is what it is.”
“At least you’ve got KC. Y’all are really good friends, right?”
“Yeah, we’ve been boys since freshman year of college. He’s good people. Always got my back but will tell me about myself in a minute. His little girl is my godbaby.”
I smiled. “And you got me.”
“I damn sure do. And I’m not letting you go.”
“That’s good to know.”
“Hey, when do I get to meet your friends? You met KC, sort of, and he’s the only friend of mine that really counts. You gonna let me meet your BFF?”
I set my fork down. “Uh…I don’t have any friends.”
He frowned slightly. “None, baby?”
I shook my head. “Other than Internet friends, no. I mean, I used to have some real-life friends, but after my best friend screwed my boyfriend of six years—the one you met at Coda—then married him less than a month after we broke up and had a whole nation of kids by him, I found it hard to trust anyone. So I just pushed everyone away.”
“Baby, damn. I’m sorry.”
“I actually miss having friends, too, just don’t know what to do about it. I mean, what do you do, call them up and say, ‘Hey, my bad for ignoring your calls for years’?”
“Nah, you call and ask how they’re doing, tell them you were in a bad place, apologize. And what about your sisters? Aren’t y’all close?”
“Not like we should be. Not like we used to be. I’m gonna fix that.”
“Good. Hey, Angie?”
“Yeah?”
“If you need me to stay home today, I will.”
“No, I’m fine. I don’t want you to get in trouble at work because of me.”
“I won’t, and if I do?” He shrugged. “But if you need me, I’ll stay.”
“No, I’m really fine. If I need you, I’ll call.”
He stood and kissed me, grabbed his last piece of bacon, and left.
I spent most of the morning thinking about my family. Called my mom, who sounded chipper and said things were great. I didn’t bother to ask about Lamar, but I was sure he or someone else was keeping her happy. She might have been wrong for sleeping with someone else while she was still married to my father, but it was also wrong for him to run over her and take her for granted like he did.
