AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Honestly?” I closed my eyes, wondering why I was suddenly feeling emotional. I thought for a long time my relationship, or lack of a relationship, with my father didn’t bother me. It was just a part of the fabric of my life. I knew it affected my relationships with men, but it never occurred to me that it affected me, and that it hurt me so deeply.
“Honestly?” I repeated. “I don’t know, Daddy. There was a time when I was little that I felt it. Back then, I knew you loved me. But the older I got, I wondered if you even remembered that I existed. When you were leaving Mama alone for days, weeks at a time, you were leaving me and Nay and Nicky, too.”
“Angie…despite anything I might’ve done, I love you, baby girl. I always have and always will. I don’t want you to ever think otherwise.”
“But you don’t even know me, Daddy.” My voice cracked and I lost the battle with my tears.
Daddy reached across the table and tightly grasped my hands. “I do. I do know you.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t know Renee or Nicky, either. You don’t even know Mama. All you know is Strickland motors and whatever else it is you spend your time on. I bet you have no idea what I do for a living.”
“You make videos about hair.”
I gasped.
“See, I do know. But I’m sorry for making you feel…forgotten.”
“You don’t even know my phone number, probably only know my address because I’ve lived here since I left home. Daddy, I just…”
“I hurt you. I hurt all of you. I understand that now. But I was just trying to provide and—”
I shook my head. “If you’re going to do this, if your intention is to make things right, make them better, then don’t sit there and insult my intelligence. You didn’t neglect your entire family just for Strickland Motors. You were cheating; you’re probably living with a woman now. Got your daughters all screwed up in the head when it comes to men.”
I’d evidently raised my voice, because I could hear Ryan’s footsteps approaching. A second later, he stuck his head in the kitchen doorway, and said, “Ang, everything okay?”
I nodded, afraid I’d cry again if I spoke.
He stood there a good minute before I heard his footsteps retreat.
Daddy smiled. “Well, I don’t know about any of the other men you might’ve dealt with, but that one loves you.”
“I know. Daddy, it’s late and he’s not going to go back to bed as long as—”
“I’m going to leave, baby girl. I just want to make it clear that I love you. I want us to talk some more, clear the air, so…why don’t you call my office tomorrow. You know that number, right?”
I nodded.
“Okay, call the office and we’ll talk some more, exchange cell numbers. I’m gonna do better by you and your sisters no matter what happens between me and your mother.”
“That’d be nice, Daddy.”
I walked him to the front door, and he pulled me into a hug, whispered, “I’m sorry…for everything,” and left. When I closed the door and turned around, Ryan was standing in the living room.
“Baby, you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
As I fell into his arms and cried, I said, “No.”
39
The next morning, as I cooked breakfast for me and Ryan, I told him about my conversation with Daddy and his apology.
“Well, it’s good that he apologized, right?”
I placed the bacon, eggs, and toast on his plate and set it before him. “If he meant it.”
“You don’t think he meant it?”
I sat across from him with my own plate. “I think he’s desperate to get back home. Probably got some young girl worrying the shit out of him and he can’t go back to Mama to get some peace like he was able to do in the past. Mama never argued or fussed. I bet he misses that.”
