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Our tongues entwine, battling as she promised.
I’ve fought to keep my hands off her for so long, so her request for my touch overwhelms me.
I have fantasized many times about her asking for my touch. However, I’d envisioned it following a romantic night together or a particularly joyful time in which we felt so close emotionally that she might finally feel comfortable. I hadn’t anticipated us to share this pivotal moment on the top of my desk in the captain’s den, causing little notes and info chips to start cascading off the edge of my workspace.
I don’t plan on picking up a single thing when we’re done here. Those nasty rumors are what caused all this grief in the first place. So let the staff see what a mess we made while locked up in the room alone. Evidently, their whispers will reach the councilwoman and her daughter as they pry into our business.
I don’t know whether she’s in the right headspace to push her limits, but if she’s going to engage in reckless and potentially self-destructive behavior, then I’m going to stay by her side.
My movements feel rusty at first, as tentative as a virgin’s. I start by cupping the back of her head, threading my fingers through her hair as she whines softly against my mouth. My kisses are starting to travel toward the corner of her lips, down her chin, and toward her neck. I let my grip slide down, drifting past the nape of her neck and feeling the delicate curve of her spine. I tuck my fingers under the collar of her robe and pull, revealing her collarbone and the milky skin of her shoulder.
She’s nearly climbing me in an effort to open herself up to me, inviting me to kiss her in more places.
I lift her by the curve of her bottom, barely believing how much contact we’re making. I support her on my thigh, letting her straddle it and keeping my palm on her ass to ensure she doesn’t slip off. As soon as I feel the heat of her cunt against me, I groan.
When I suck on her neck, she cries out and sinks her fingers into my shoulders.
I pause to lean back without letting her off my lap. Her expression is dazed, and her lips are swollen from our kisses.
“Here,” I say, taking one of her hands in mine. I pinch the tip of one glove and pull it off, tossing it onto the desk. “It’ll be easier to scratch me up with your nails like this.”
She glances at her naked hand nervously.
“Don’t you want to leave your marks on me?” I tease, leaning in to peck a kiss on the tip of her nose.
“I do,” she whispers, placing the tip of her pointer finger on my chin and then tracing the shape of my jaw. “At some point, you became mine. I tried to ignore it, because I was sure that I couldn’t live up to that, not when my body didn’t feel like it was mine.”
“I was yours from the moment I saw you,” I tell her. “Don’t ever forget that. I’m always yours whether you use me or put me on a little shelf. I’m yours when you need me, and yours when you don’t.”
“But I do need you,” she says. “I need you so badly that I’m afraid of it.”
“Don’t get overwhelmed. Just tell me what you need right now, and that’s where we’ll start.”
Suddenly, she’s shy again, even though moments ago, she was boldly demanding I open my mouth for that pill so that she could plunder my mouth like a pirate plunders a cargo hold.
“If we could make each other come together, I think I’d feel more secure,” she tells me. “I know I came on strong just now, but I’m not sure I’m ready to throw caution to the wind and go all the way. But I do feel the need to prove something to myself.”
Between this and the Proving Ceremony, I’m still feeling uneasy about Frankie’s reasons for putting herself in situations that threaten her safety. Whether it be physical or emotional pain, I fight and fight to keep her from it. I’d like to stick her in a bubble and chase it all away. But that’s not how life goes, and I need to let her lead her own path.
“It’ll be as you wish, no more and no less,” I vow.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
MAK
Before we leave the captain’s den, I send out a missive to the staff on duty that they must temporarily clear the route to my quarters. I stall for them to make way by indulging in more heated kissing with Frankie.
I half-expect her to complain when I scoop her up in my arms to walk us back, but she simply tucks her head against my chest and rests her eyes. It’s been such a long day that it’s hard to believe we were in the council room before the Kar’Kali sun set on us.
It feels too quiet when we arrive back at my quarters without either the tip-tap of Nisi’s claws on the floors or the idle chatter of Viro.
I set Frankie on her feet and she lets out a big yawn, stretching her arms like a little kid.
“So sleepy that you’ve changed your mind?” I ask with a coy smirk. “You won’t hurt my feelings if we go to bed instead. Unless you make me sleep alone, that is.”
She shakes her head vigorously. “I made my decision.”
“Well, some water and a nip of hard liquor would do us good, wouldn’t it?”
