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Jude nods, his eyes swimming with love.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “No.”
“But I came back. Why didn’t you tell me then?”
I reach for him, but he walks across the room, dodging me. “Things came up.”
“Bullshit.”
He looks over his shoulder at me. “I’m not…”
“What?”
“I’m not one of those guys.”
“What kind of guy?”
“I’m not Ben.” His arms fly out at his sides.
“I don’t remember ever asking you to be Ben.”
He strips off his shirt and tosses it on the chair in the corner. “I really want this conversation to be over.”
“Then tell me,” I say, continuing to push him out of his comfort zone. We’ve come so far. I’m not backing down now.
“What do you want to know, Sadie?” His voice rises. “That I fucking love you, but I can’t tell you? That I’ve wanted you most of my life, knowing you deserve someone who isn’t… me?”
Tears block my vision for a moment before I blink, and they fall down my cheeks. “You love me?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not. Not at all.”
He groans and pushes both hands through his hair, letting his head rock back to stare at the ceiling. “It’s embarrassing. Can you please just leave and go to bed and forget all this shit?”
I step close to him. “You’re an idiot.”
He pushes his hands in his pockets and stares at me. “I’m aware.”
I shake my head. “No, we’re both idiots. God, Jude… I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. And all this time…”
“What?”
My fingers crawl over his abs, up his chest, to rest around his neck. “I love you too,” I whisper through tears.
“You do?”
I laugh. “I do.”
His hands slide out of his pockets, and he winds them around my waist. “Sadie, it doesn’t change the fact?—”
I put my finger on his lips to stop his doubts from filling every inch of this room. “No. You, Jude. You are the man I want. I know all your faults and all your amazing qualities as well. I don’t care that you’re not like Ben. I love you exactly how you are.”
He tugs me closer. “Fuck, Sadie.” He rests his forehead against mine.
It might take him longer than me to believe my words, but he’ll believe he’s the right man for me. I’m going to make sure.
